You know what the real problem is? Those gigantic constipated meth-head elephant dumps you’ve been dropping in it every day at 3 PM. Yes, I know that’s your username, Carl, and you need to stop clogging the clapper with those massive hammer-handle loads. I swear, until I met you and saw you putting the toilet into therapy every day, I didn’t know porcelain could bend. Plus, from outside the bathroom, it sounds like fucking Normandy. Either do something about your fiber intake or go to the gas station from now on. The bathroom looks like Revelations when you’re done, and the whole house smells like a Johnny Cash song.