Using Science and Social Trends to Prove Pyro’s Gender

For over a decade now there’s been debates over whether Pyro is male or female, so I figured it’s about damn time we got an actual answer to this question. In order to answer this question, we have to ask ourselves what every mercenary has in common. There’s the obvious things such as they’re all adults, male, speak English, and other stuff, but there’s one thing every knows that each merc has: fuckability.
Each of the mercenaries fits into a category of extremely fuckable men. Let’s go in order. Scout is a frat boy who’s overconfident but ultimately has a heart of gold. Whether or not it’s an ideal choice for a man, he definitely gets a lot of pussy. Soldier is the ultimate chad. Somewhat buff, confident as hell, and utterly devoted to anyone he loves. Demoman, despite not having any children himself, radiates DILF energy. Maybe he’s a bit of a pillow princess, but he definitely gets around. Heavy is a big teddy bear of a man, great for cuddling and very protective. Engineer is a nerd, but very kind and compassionate, wanting to support others as best he can. While having the least fuckability of the mercs, he’s definitely worth at least holding robotic hands with, which is the lewdest act imaginable. Medic has that “One night stand that leaves you waking up the next morning in an ice bath with a missing kidney” vibe, but let’s not pretend the ladies (and Heavy) aren’t into that. Sniper is a bit socially awkward, but is truly a ladies man at heart, and wouldn’t have a hard time seducing someone. Finally, there’s Spy. Spy fucks. Not just based of his suave character and cool yet confident personality, but he canonically has had sex. If you need it explained how Spy is sexy, then you don’t know what sexy means.
So now you may be asking, “What does any of this have to do with Pyro?” Well, there is one category of extremely fuckable men not covered by the other 8 classes: Femboys. Pyro being a femboy would make the most sense. They already have the cat ear hoodies, all the rainbow stuff, and the close relation to females. Plus, having met several femboys myself, nobody is more willing to commit arson than a femboy. Therefor, I feel confident in the assertion that Pyro is a femboy.