chainsaws for magic ammo
shoots epic Arachnotron™ weakpoint after lining up shot for 5 seconds while dashing side to side because pro Quake™ skills
retarded door opening cutscene plays
“Mhmm….rip and tear.. looks like the Hell Priest™ is nearby.. I will rip and tear because I am the ancient Doom Slaya™
“Come on, Vega™”
follows Skyrim™ compass
Picks up 10 epic fanfiction-tier lore dumps about how badass the Slaya™ is on the way
Door locks behind the Slaya™ and demons appear
cacophony of retarded monster noises while the fart synth kicks into action
chainsaws for magic ammo
“Rip and tear” WUBWUBWUBBWAMBWAMDUUUUUNUUUUNUUHHHNHUHHH \*Uses Flame Belch™ on a deliberately spawned group of Possessed™ and they become Staggered™, does a badass Heat Blast™ and Armor Shards™ fly into the Slaya™’s face\*
chainsaws for magic ammo
switches weapons 75 times
dashes aimlessly waiting for a Possessed™ to spawn
chainsaws for magic ammo
swings on monkey bars
performs impse
250 arena laps and 150 chainsaw uses later the Slaya™ is victorious
Mhmm.. The Hell Priest™ is not here.. Better tell Samuel Hayden™ about this
“Come on, Vega™”
Walks two meters and Alien Queen™ appears in an epic cutscene
“You will not defeat me, Slaya™, I am the Emperor of the Universe and you are nothing but a Usurper™, the Kar En Kuk™ Council of Elder Alien Space Sentinel Argent D’ Nur™ has banished you from the alien kingdom and I will defeat you!”
Cut to black and level ends before epic boss fight so player can process how epic this is and maybe make a Reddit™ post about it before carrying on
DUNDUNDUNBWAMBWAMBWAM Mick Gordon farting BAM BAM BAM 50 ACTION POINTS 5 CRUCIBLE CREDIT SENTINEL SHIP ARGENT RECEIVED