I used all the empty/branded pages of my granddad’s Bible for joints, so I started using passages from Genesis, (esp “herbs to use” etc.) But eventually decided to roll a fat one from the book of Revelations…

I chose an appropriately cryptic passage. My brother and I decided it was a great opportunity to practice our improv amateur witchcraft. We resolved to scapegoat the joint by focusing all of our negative karma into the accumulating resin. We stopped when it was about a half inch long and clearly read “he gave his right to me, the keys of Hades.” Afterwards my brother said he wished his ex would smoke it and choke, (he was salty about her ditching him for our former weed dealer about a year back,) we hadn’t even seen either of them for a couple months.

The next morning she *actually shows up at our front door asking if we have any smoke*… Aware of the theoretical metaphysical repercussions of deliberately harming through “black magic,” I inform her that the only weed we have is a “cursed roach.” I tell her what it was and how it was made and infused with bad mojo and was not fit for human consumption. She laughed it off and said “ok, whatever,” and smoked it on the spot.

The girl who smoked the cursed roach broke her leg in 16 places a week later. The next time we saw her she was on crutches with a cast up to her hip.