So, I (17M) was in Religion class with my girlfriend Stacey (~~6~~18F), when my teacher (103M) asked for our (my class) opinions (29) on Religion (12M). I (17M), like any other 17 year old (17), responded with “Jesus is a hoe”, as simple as a response can get. Immediately, he (my teacher, 103M) started going on a lecture about how I “can’t use that language during school times” and how it could “upset the students around me.” I (17M) was done with all his bitching, so I left the classroom to go to jerk off in the bathroom, to relieve some stress, you know? I checked some of the pictures I had gotten of my girlfriend (~~6~~18F), and finished looking at them.

It had been about an hour (1 hour) that had passed (I need to be careful nutting, last time I bled all over my elbow), and decided it was time (enough of it) to go back to class. However, as I (17M) stepped out of my bathroom stall, I noticed my best friend (16M) with a shotgun lodged into the side of his throat. This was a really normal practice, especially with himself and me, so I just assumed he got so high on the meth I shot inside his nose, he swallowed some of his Hydropmorphone pills and fucking died.

He wasn’t the only one dead, though; several midgets were scattered along the floor as if they were bloody patterns of some shitty art piece. It’d be lucky to spot one with its head still intact to its body. And then I saw my teacher, Mr. \[name redacted for privacy reasons\] (103), with his ~~gaping cock~~ eyes on one of the midgets. Fuck, he spotted me, just as I was practicing urethra movements.

He launched towards me, with his M134 Minigun in hand. I dodged 17 out of 23 bullets launched at me, which ended in the degloving of most of my fingers. With the remaining energy left in my body, I walked up to Mr. \[name redacted for privacy reasons\], broke his neck, and died.

I was transported to purgatory where I stand now, with my degloved fingers and throbbing horse cock, ready to fight at any moment. So, AITA? If any of you say I am, I will find you, fuck you until your lungs burst, and force-feed each of your babies down your cum-filled cock socket.

AITA?