So, this just happened and I am still a little shaken but need to vent.

First thing to note is that I am painfully impulsive, I leap and then look far too often.

Mostly, I do fine. I am on some quite good medication, and as long as I can make it to my next prescription, it works. I have reasonable control over what I do, but when I saw a USB that was left out… I just had to know what it was for. So, not a problem. I could just load it up. Have a quick look and go about my life without a care, it was probably going to be some family history archives or something. He likes that stuff.

Some context, I don’t live with my father. He walked out on my mother two or three years ago, as he had already started on his new relationship. A year ago I moved for university and now I live only a short train away, so he has helped me move into my new place.

So, I have this USB and know he hides a lot of stuff. I want to know. I need to know. We didn’t talk much for a few years and he changed in his new relationship. So I open the file system and there are three folders:

Gash, Puns, Stash

I work my way from the end inwards, glancing at the thumbnails one level down.

Stash: Boring, Family photos in folders with one initial per person.

Puns: Looked like a recording, ripped off of a DVR or something. He is fairly tech savvy

Now, I was a little cautious with this last one. I believe in one’s own “tastes” being between yourself and whomever you share it with. But heck, I was just going to peek and he had pissed me off the other day about my girlfriend. So, I look.

Nothing special.

Folders, each with a name. ( I assume of the model in the photo-shoots)

One does catch my eye though: Fakes.

Do I look? Yes. Should have I? Fuck no.

Folders, each with and initial and a few stray photos.

In Stash he had some of the same initials. I remembered that B had pictures of my girlfriend in. It did. Poorly photo-shopped images of my girlfriend in various positions. All created in June this year.
Other subjects that I remembered were in the family photos were: My sister (K), My girlfriend’s mother (J) and my cousin (V)

Now I am stuck knowing that my father went to the effort of photo-shopping photos of my girlfriend of seven years, my family and a bunch of other people.

I want to die.