Heads up to all the young people out there. Stop climbing trees as soon as you read this. However, ignoring my friendly wisdom is even more dangerous. Policemen are already looking for you. Especially throughout the Tokyo city center. I know, I know, climbing trees is just too damn cool to give up. But, consider the following: The moment you relinquish your tree-climbing desires is the moment you avoid falling on your ass and looking like a complete buffoon stuck in the hospital. Dislocating your pelvis, scraping your knees, or kicking the bucket can be just the beginning. Furthermore, your mental health comes in question the second your foot encounters bark. Now, a special message to any of you crazies reading this advice while hanging out on a tree branch, ‘RETURN TO EARTH!’ I understand you wish to defy gravity and the natural order of the entire planet, but climbing trees is the wrong way to do it. Hopefully, this message inspires every one of you to come to your senses and discover new found respect for your own well-being.