Mordecai is a beta simp for lady pecs. Gross. I’m not even attracted to lady pecs ’cause obviously I’m not a simp. I have a girlfriend but I pay her no attention nor respect because she doesn’t deserve any from an absolute Chad like myself. She must like the fact that I don’t care about her. If she ever tries to talk to me about my feelings I’ll just punch her hard enough to knock her unconscious so she’ll finally shut up. Women, am I right? Wanting eQuAL riGhTs and MuTuAL rEsPEcT- lol keep wishing, you sandwich-maker. If she ever dumps me for some simp it must be because she’s a dumb bitch and not because I’m actually a huge asshole with a narcissist complex who loves feeling superior to women and other men at all times and secretly feels incredibly fragile about my masculinity and so the only way I could think of to vent out my insecurities is by calling a fictional bluejay a simp so I could feel more alpha in comparison to a cartoon character of a kid’s show.

Man, Blue from Blues Clues is a real simp for time management. Fuck that dog.