Me, a sweaty nerd, sitting in my basement, anxiously awaiting with bated breath, for the drop of this film. ‘A feeeeemale lead in a superhero movie? Not on my watch!’ I spring into action, cheeto dusted fingers fly across the keyboard to decry ‘feminism, SJWs, the ruination of my childhood!’ ‘A women, beating up men? How ridiculous! What about realism in my fantasy films? ‘ROTTEN I SAY! ROTTEN!’ Falling back onto my anime body pillow, I feel satisfied, that I have in fact owned the libs epic style.

This calls for celebration. I holler up the stairs to my mom, requesting some delicious chicken tendies, and grab a 2 liter dew from the fridge. Wiping my fingers on my unwashed Rick and Morty shirt, I crack my knuckles and set down to write my next epic post about how females won’t date me because I’m a nice guy. Whores.