You can call me Ben Shapiro, super genius. I’m currently 37 years old. Not that you’d care, but I reside in northeast LA’s villa district; also, my wife is a doctor. In order to make a living, I work as a columnist for the Daily Wire. After a long day’s work, I return home no later than 8 PM. Alcohol goes against my religion, but I do enjoy the occasional slonk of gangweed. I’m always in bed by 11 PM, and I make it a point to get no less than 8 hours of sleep each night. Before bed, I drink a warm glass of Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s piss. It’s always coupled with 20 hours of Fortnite to decompress from the long work day; sweet dreams are the usual result of this. I then awake as refreshed and recharged as a newborn child, ready to take on the day’s challenges, and after my last checkup, I was given a clean bill of health. For as long as I can remember, I’ve done everything in my power to live a productive life that allows me to pursue a lasting inner peace. This may be a foreign concept, but I choose not to concern myself with winning or losing, life’s troubles, or feelings that bring sleepless nights. That is how I cope with this society we find ourselves living in. It’s what brings me happiness in a world fraught with hardship and socialism. Of course, if I were ever to engage in debate, I would destroy literally all the libtards with facts and logic.