Now let me tell you something about this fucker named Yoshi. This little asshole is a privileged cunt that thinks that he has the right to cross up my shield with a -7 aerial and then run away and throw fucking undeveloped embreo at me. Then, when the motherfucker has to approach, he hits my shield with an aerial that does 32%, sets up into techchase situations, or breaks my damn shield. After he reacts to my tech option, he hits me with an forward tilt, then an up tilt, then fucking 4 up airs. What in the father fucking fuck does that Yoshi bitch think he’s doing? He literally takes his brain out of his cranium and just has a seizure around the stage. After he does whatever Tarzan shit he feels like to do 100%, he fucking twerks on me with an aerial that not only crosses up my shield, but also shield pokes me if I hold my shield for a millisecond. That godamn Willy Wonka nerd motherfucker also has a godamn command grab. So, if you’ve been shielding all of his brainlet aerials, he can fucking punish you for it. Let me ask the question again: What in fuck does Yoshi think he’s doing with all this fucking braindead on-stage utility? And that was only onstage, offtstage is a whole other circus. If you’re offstage, Yoshi will go fucking Kiss-o mode on you and slam his empty head into your entire body. Even if he misses it doesn’t matter, he’ll just double jump and nair you. Speaking of his double jump, what’s he doing with that? The shit goes higher than a stoner and has fucking super armor. Why does he have it? I don’t know, maybe the lack of a brain rids him of nervous system and he can’t feel pain? He doesn’t give a fuck about your combos, he’ll just flutter like a godamn butterfly in spring (which is ironic because he makes me want to fall onto a bed of spikes) and say: “No no no, you no combo, only me combo”, then he’ll proceed to land on you with a dair, catch your tech, forward tilt, up tilt, up air, up air, up air, and up air.