The day of an intellectually superior being

My eyes flutter open, I can’t tell what time of day it is since my blackout cum stained curtains block out all light. In the darkness I awake, and in the darkness I shall return. I roll over to glance at my Astolfo lewd alarms clock, it reads 2:48 pm. This instantly gives me a jolt of energy since I haven’t been awake this early in years. I scroll through r/hentai until about 4pm when I finally decide it’s time to start my glorious day. I brush my teeth with my pink (girls love pink) toothbrush and captain marvel toothpaste. I heat up some nuggies in the microwave. I almost never skip breakfast, it’s impossible for someone as brilliant as me to miss such an important meal and be productive throughout my busy day. After searching for 15 minutes looking for the honey mussy, I finally yell upstairs

Me: “MOM! WHERE IS THE FUCKING HONEY MUSSY YOU BITCH”.

To no surprise she responds with a a snark response, completely unacceptable to someone twice her superior.

Mother: “Oh honey, I’m so sorry I forgot to pick some up at the store! Would you like me to stop by the grocery store to pick some up?”

How could she forget something so trivial (smart word), something so basic! After punching multiple holes in the wall, I take my plate of now cold nuggies and throw them directly towards my mother. The audacity of this woman to not give me essentials in order to survive is mind boggling, disheartening.
Finally after this rant that went on for around 2 hours, I feel content, calm, collected. So I head to Reddit where I go to r/wholesome to look at some pictures of animals since I haven’t been outside in nearly 3 years. A picture of a really cute dog almost makes me say “wholesome 100” out loud. just as I’m doing this my mother yells down into the basement to tell me McDonald’s called and they didn’t want to hire me. That’s fine with me anyways I’m way too talented and based to work at such a shit establishment. I’m a smart and cunning individual, irresistible to the touch and intellectually miles above society.
I’m a redditor.