>***apparently that means I have been alive***
>
>***my birthday is in a week or two and I***
>
>***can’t remember and that means I’ve been***
>
>***alive for 27 years to you know do you***
>
>***know do you know what it’s like to be***
>
>***alive for 27 years I don’t even know***
>
>***that means what does it mean what does***
>
>***it mean to be alive for 27 years what***
>
>***does it mean I’m just here I’m just here***
>
>***and I’m just stuck in this mess elevator***
>
>***boots are we are sending it with each***
>
>***other just like cat litter cat litter***
>
>***dentures in my mouth I just don’t know I***
>
>***just don’t they’re still here because***
>
>***that’s too much work because I help it I***
>
>***pop feel it attacked my arms I feel it***
>
>***my selves it’s just coming out it’s like***
>
>***it comes like spiders a great leak***
>
>***roughly like muffin muffin from Arthur***
>
>***on PBS bussiness pecked universe no real***
>
>***oh I have an ear infection this is your***
>
>***mops and if you look at my teeth again***
>
>***it’s just turmeric because anyone taking***
>
>***the marks last night because I felt that***
>
>***my heart would stop and I’d pass away***
>
>***the horror the horror and just like***
>
>***Ashley mary-kate Olsen my world you push***
>
>***her into the mirror go go to overnight***
>
>***you after how you mature you happy and***
>
>***do you sell it and they have a bonnet on***
>
>***their head and they sell nice little***
>
>***pretzels and it tastes delicious a***
>
>***connor in my view of german but it’s***
>
>***just the amish the amish and you can’t***
>
>***take both of them they don’t like that***
>
>***we have to ask for a permission but they***
>
>***still won’t even let you remember that***
>
>***guy that caught a car crash and that was***
>
>***the horror story in fourth grade oh yes***
>
>***sweet sweet done***
>
>***Oh abracadabra and that’s over if she***
>
>***got her braces out and when I took it***
>
>***out there were some bits of carrots***
>
>***stuck inside of them because they were***
>
>***metal and hers little grooves for them***
>
>***and her name was Rachel and Rachel’s***
>
>***always have orange hair and just is what***
>
>***it is***
>
>***I am Jesus I am Here I am Jesus***
>
>***by I’m Jason I can hold it together I***
>
>***can be presented I can button my pants***
>
>***and I can make sure my belly just but I***
>
>***can shuck it and put on Kim Kardashian’s***
>
>***Tomica aunt or whatever it’s called Kim***
>
>***come Kamara no go come on look all the***
>
>***chemo go so my belly doesn’t weigh***
>
>***because I am***
>
>***\[Music\]***
>
>***\[Music\]***
>
>***\[Music\]***
>
>***\[Music\]***
>
>***\[Music\]***
>
>***whatever spell them under who’s ever***
>
>***casted this on to me is it okay to not***
>
>***be okay that is the question and you***
>
>***know what my teeth are yellow and they***
>
>***hurt because there’s tumeric and I had***
>
>***to mark last night because I thought I***
>
>***thought I was literally pumping out***
>
>***butter sticks from my arteries and I am***
>
>***NOT okay I am NOT okay I asked him to***
>
>***leave so I can make this video and he’s***
>
>***not even here because I told him I said***
>
>***look I just don’t even know what’s***
>
>***happening and I can feel it’s like I***
>
>***feel listening to like everything is***
>
>***just becoming a blur and everything is***
>
>***just becoming like emotion and he***
>
>***doesn’t even matter if I’m watching that***
>
>***video and he’s there***
>
>***I am literally getting the suns***
>
>***attacking my cells the Sun is ruining my***
>
>***skin it’s ruining it it hurts when I***
>
>***touch it and I feel like it’s too late***
>
>***to go back in time and I thought about***
>
>***doing the laser on my arms but it caused***
>
>***you a bunch of money I thought about***
>
>***getting but nobody but those three***
>
>***thousand dollars and if I don’t even***
>
>***want the person to do for because they***
>
>***believe in pass out because they don’t***
>
>***want to pass away just so I’m sad I***
>
>***don’t even know what to say I wouldn’t***
>
>***go back in time and I want to make sure***
>
>***that I use the baby oil on my baby parts***
>
>***you’re like Johnson to Johnson County***
>
>***rock it and because I feel like it’s***
>
>***coming out my arms are so messed up from***
>
>***the Sun I have so much sun damage and***
>
>***I’m only 27 years old and my 27 what***
>
>***does that mean what does it mean to be***
>
>***27 that does that mean have lived for 27***
>
>***years I can’t tell you what happened in***
>
>***27 years I don’t even remember that what***
>
>***happened to my first five years of life***
>
>***I don’t even remember but it’s like this***
>
>***alternate universe like this little***
>
>***dimension this kind of smear of a***
>
>***different reality like you kind of alive***
>
>***but you’re not fully aware but you’re***
>
>***not fully prepared to be in the world***
>
>***and everything is like***
>
>***and keeping her parents sometimes***
>
>***doesn’t phase out because your bad***
>
>***marriage my mic is good go sturdy I died***
>
>***when I’m 60 half of my life is over this***
>
>***is not good***
>
>***I can’t imagine what I’m gonna feel what***
>
>***I’m dirty when I say look look when I’m***
>
>***40 when a boy is this what a midlife***
>
>***crisis is like when you’re 40 and they***
>
>***say you’re having a midlife crisis cuz***
>
>***you don’t know what that means that***
>
>***you’ve lived 40 years you say I’ve been***
>
>***in life for 40 years I know yours gets***
>
>***shorter and shorter and sure I was just***
>
>***talking to some of this and my muckman***
>
>***anniversary is coming up this October***
>
>***this October and it’s gonna be four***
>
>***years of me doing these eating shows I***
>
>***know anymore I don’t even know I just***
>
>***feel so trapped in this body I feel***
>
>***trapped and I just I can feel I can feel***
>
>***see him I like I see myself right now it***
>
>***is the scariest thing like I’m looking***
>
>***at myself I am over there and I’m***
>
>***looking at myself like I can feel myself***
>
>***going out the room like I feel myself***
>
>***just leaving and going and leaving and***
>
>***going and I keep going and going either***
>
>***gonna go to the bathroom for the word I***
>
>***see a cobbstock barge do I make sense***
>
>***when I speak with my pee cat litter***
>
>***dentures in front of you I don’t think I***
>
>***do I feel like what I see you don’t see***
>
>***and that’s how I know I’m going crazy***
>
>***life kind of like snowball around and***
>
>***kind of warp into something else to***
>
>***pursue universe I don’t know what’s***
>
>***going into my mind but I don’t want to***
>
>***get that Sun in my cells and my arms are***
>
>***ruined***
>
>***I just feel like I’m wasting my life I’m***
>
>***wasting my time and I’m not thirty or***
>
>***forty I can’t imagine what I feel when I***
>
>***turn 45 and I say what have I done what***
>
>***have I created have a why where do I go***
>
>***what is the point Who I am I here what***
>
>***am i doing for people how am I making a***
>
>***difference how am I gonna be happy how***
>
>***I’m gonna make sure that I have happy***
>
>***how do you gonna make sure they’re happy***
>
>***how you gonna make sure it be body odor***
>
>***smell like popcorn her Bo smell like***
>
>***butter popcorn from the movie theater***
>
>***and the type that you can put on***
>
>***yourself the extra liquid I try to make***
>
>***sure don’t with guts from my heart and I***
>
>***put on this barrier***
>
>***show that I have a shield and I am Queen***
>
>***Elizabeth the seventh faith or whatever***
>
>***actually was and it’s so odd because I’m***
>
>***actually believe I know feeling that’s***
>
>***also why I’m here not knowing why I’m***
>
>***turning twenty a mystery twenty-eight***
>
>***and there’s a split in my stomach as I’m***
>
>***hungry it feels almost like death it***
>
>***feels like peasants that starve in a***
>
>***barrels under the castles of Austria the***
>
>***lady well Uncle Ben billy-bob what’s his***
>
>***name from Sleepy Hollow***
>
>***HECO Botley billy-bob Haeckel Jacob***
>
>***Billy Bob what’s his name Bob given***
>
>***fatal battle Biddle babbles good rattles***
>
>***egg pick about chick about something***
>
>***like that***
>
>***and he had the horse named to see the***
>
>***movie but I know he had the copy just***
>
>***like a little money they said how the***
>
>***toilet paper and it was a trick because***
>
>***it was at the point now doctor you saw***
>
>***the plug in the wall Chuck you feel that***
>
>***cold breeze you know what when you sat***
>
>***on that bunk bed and you lay down in***
>
>***your book and that’s how I know wizard***
>
>***that is how I know I’m a wizard***
>
>***that was my blessing and that was my way***
>
>***up now when that angel played a heart***
>
>***but I will never forget did I ever tell***
>
>***you guys I saw an angel a real one***
>
>***I was probably five or six years old now***
>
>***a presence it could have been an extra***
>
>***extraterrestrial***
>
>***I felt a vibration I was five or I was***
>
>***probably six years old and I climbed***
>
>***down from my bunk bed and I have been***
>
>***seen in the galaxy seen everything at***
>
>***once and I climbed down the ladder which***
>
>***had been varnished by my father I think***
>
>***open the door and I walked into the***
>
>***bathroom in the hallway nobody was awake***
>
>***the dogs were sleeping my parents were***
>
>***sleeping my brothers were sleeping the***
>
>***door had been open and I don’t know if***
>
>***there was a nightlight or if it was the***
>
>***illumination from the beam but it’s sat***
>
>***next to the toilet in a plate of heart***
>
>***and had strung the harp the low notes***
>
>***and I could see the strain going like***
>
>***this and the whole room I could see the***
>
>***energy it up tried to remember with its***
>
>***eyes looked like when I looked into its***
>
>***eyes I’m trying really hard to remember***
>
>***we’re trying to hold our composure we***
>
>***are trying to hold it together we’re***
>
>***trying to make sure that we are poised***
>
>***and posed and that we breathe correctly***
>
>***we are trying to make sure that the***
>
>***audience is here and they have got food***
>
>***or thrown any tomatoes that you are in***
>
>***control of this plane and no one else***
>
>***back back***