\*G-FUEL\*

Aa Hh.

I’ve been getting a bunch of hate comments and I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t hurt me. But sometimes enough is ENOUGH. People dare online, question, saying “Oh, he doesn’t really play video games anymore”, “Oh he’s not really a gamer anymore”.

Oh EXCUSE me. You think I’m not a gamer?

PewDiePie.

The biggest gaming channel on YouTube.

Oh, I’m not a gamer. I’m such a gamer. Then why do I have a G-Fuel sponsorship? Then why do I have this gaming chair that can in fact do a lot of things. Why do I have these gaming headphones? Why do I have these gamer muscles if I wasn’t a gamer. Oh, it’s because I don’t dress like a gamer. Oh well I’ll have you know I have quite the taste for gamer fashion. Okay?

Here’s some of my favourite gaming outfits. And maybe you can learn a thing or two. If you pay attention.

“No mom, I can’t pause Fortnite”. That’s a shirt that says. I like VIDEO GAMES. And also, I like Fortnite. And also, mom, I CAN’T PAUSE IN FORTNITE! \*A incomprehensible sound\* What is this measley YouTuber merch? “My brain is 90% GAMING!”, “TACsTICS!”, “And 10% random stuff. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯”, “There are more than two genders”. I have not seen a more gaming-worthy t-shirt in my life I don’t leave the house, unless I tell people about my core message. “Eat. Sleep. Fortnite. Repeat.” Eat. Sleep. Fortnite. Repeat. Oh, I’m SORRY! “I wasn’t Listening!” I was thinking about gamer tactics. Oh, if you are reading this, I’ll have you know “I was forced to put my controller down and enter society”.

Society.

What even is the society. Huh? Has anyone ever thought of that?

I really, really would recommend these ones. I especially like how the print just ends in the middle of the shirt. These full cover the, shirts. They are very epic. Especially the one with the hentai faces. Some people would go for the hentai faces, I’m more of a Fortnite all over kind of guy. “Yeah, I’m a gamer. Good at making extremely hot girls \*censored\*”. Now this is what gaming is all about. \*applauds\* Some say there’s females, other says they’re males. I see there’s only one gender. \*Indicates GAMER\* Come on. What is this fucking video \*laughs\*. “Video games ruined my life”. Lucky I have two more! Because I am a gamer! \*Bruh sound effect plays\* The best thing about a gamer is that “I don’t age”. I just level up! Woah! Next level! We will taking it to next level! “Born to play Fortnite. Forced to go to school”. I’ll take TEN! \*laughs\* “I’m a gamer not because I don’t have life, but because I choose to have many”. Wait, someone photoshopped that. “I’m a gamer not because I don’t have life, but because I hate \*censored\*”. It’s this kind of toxic gaming attitude that makes me sad to be a gamer. If I can identify my entire existence through a hobby that literally everyone takes part in, then who am I. Who am I supposed to be? “Hey snowflakes…” I should wear this shirt. Who buys these shirts? I know I do because I am a gamer.

“Gamers don’t die.”

\*depressed\*

“They respawn.”

\*dies\*

\*Massive BRUH sound effect plays\*

How many f- ensures that I buy? “DO NOT DISTURB. GAMING MODE ACTIVATED!” \*explodes with bruh\*

Well this one isn’t too bad. Hey Brad you can wear this one. What the hell. Who sells this. This is not gamer approved. I do not approve of this. “I am a gamer not because I don’t have a life but because I hate \*censored\*” WHAT IS THIS? Stop. Stop this horrible message. “Warning. I have LIGMA!” Ninja has ligma! Ha ha ha ha. Oh I got it. I got it. “Born to be a gamer. Forced to go to school”. I’m a born-ass gamer. Got the reflexes. I can reacting. Zero point one millisecond KACHOW! You know what. They told me my entire life “Oh why you play video games. It’s never gonna get you pussy., It’s never gonna get you money”. Oh well I’m slamming out both, bro! I’m slamming on both game and get so much HEAT. That’s why I’m all about the gamer love. Why did I buy this? Not even gamer. If you’re a gamer, say it with me. Loud and clear. “Eat, sleep, gamer, repeat”, “Eat, sleep, game, repeat”, “Eat, sleep, game, repeat”. I play Fortnite 6 thousand billion years. I can’t read that upside down. But I’m sure it’s gaming related. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this powerful. “Who needs a girlfriend when I can make Hatsune Miku touch my Oculus Rift”.

kek

Yes. That one please!

“Yes, I am a gay furry. And if you ask nicely, “

\*gulp\*

I pass my game to BE here. Literally, I have Minecraft paws right now. Someone say my outfit is a bit over the top, it’s called a coordinated baby. It doesn’t get better than this. I’d literally can’t sweat through my armpits because nothing can leave my body. Remember when he wasn’t cool to play video games? And you had to be secret about it? “I went outside once. The graphics are not that great.” Have you seen the graphics? In the new League of Legends? PATCH? What the hell \*blurred photo\* where can I buy that I actually want that. Unless my t-shirt says “#Gamer”, and takes up half the \*laughs\* Then I’m NOT that interested. “Yes, I like video games. No, I WON’T date you.” We are rare attractive men that like video games.

We are RARE.

Women wants to take over us they wanna abuse us for our skills in gamings. But we’re smarter than that.

“Dude. Dude! Dude. Dude, I logged out for this?”

That’s me and basically any scenario. My mom’s dying where it’s her funeral. Shy’s dying at her funeral.

“Dude, I logged out for this?”

Mum. I hope I’m making myself clear here. I’m not playing around. This is not some kind of video game. I mean it is, but, this is not some sort of game.

I am, gamer, people need to know about it. Even if I can’t breath, and whah. What does you see. What does you see?

“I don’t have birthdays. I level UP!” I level up goddammit. I know I’m a gamer. Because I never stopped giving up. I never don’t give up. “Gaming is in my DNA!”

AARGH!

Does anyone want to challenge me in a wonder he won Rust. Any time of either, De\_Dust. CS. Counter Strike. One point six. I’ll go one B five if I have to.

If there was one gamer merch to rule them all.

It’s the 80 million club merch! Available right now! On represent dot com slash PewDiePie. Now this is tight. Now this is tight merch. You see this? If this doesn’t make you convince you to finally buy that PewDiePie merch.

They even think… Thinking about and I guess nothing’s gonna convinced.

“Swagger of a girl gamer”.

I guess girl gamers can have swagger too. What can I say, I’ve learnt. Some people have been telling me like dude, girls can be gamers too and I’m like nah nah man. That ain’t it. That’s impossible. But I’ve been educating myself. I wanna be clear here. “Don’t piss me off. I’m close to leveling up. and securing the existence of our people and” the- what the- god DAMMIT NO!

“Gamers make better lovers. We press the right buttons”.

You never have s\*removed\* with someone impress buttons? You ever done that? You haven’t because you’re a gamer. That’s right. We don’t have s\*removed\*.

Now pound it. Pound it if you are a gamer. POUND IT GODDAMMIT!

Now say with me. I’m a \*removed\*

Okay guys, this is my coming out video. I know now, that I have no reason to be afraid. I have no reason to be ashamed of who I am. I have no reason to pretend that I’m not. I’m proud. My name is Felix Kjellberg. Kjellberg. And I am proud to say I am a gamer. I am pround to say enter the code PewDiePie to get you G-Fuel. Your gamer full fuel. 30 percent off. For those epic moments in video games. I had some of my best times in my life while drinking G-Fuel. I lost my virginity while drinking G-Fuel. I got my first victory at Rialto while drinking G-Fuel.

You don’t understand the power of a gamer. How long can I drag out this joke. I don’t know but it’s going on way too long.