Now lemme just start off by saying that I am very much an expert when it comes to the entirety of the corn industry. I currently am sitting out on my porch looking over my vast corn field that takes up the entirety of the state of Indiana. Now the common mistake about owning a cornfield is simply selling the corn to your local ACME and calling it a day. That is simply not how I, Mr. Business, do business. The simple route is always for the weak-minded and those who close their eyes to the possibilities. The secret of owning a corn field is manufacturing corn oil instead. Now you might ask “Why?” Well have you heard of the nickname that people have given to oil? Hmmmmm? They call it “black gold.” Now I don’t know about you but when I hear the word “gold,” the business side of me instantly gets a massive 14 inch boner. Corn oil is the way to go, my friend. As I sit out on my massive expense of a lawn, I can look out on to my corn oil refinery: a large set of industrial buildings sitting right on my lawn. The business numbers of which I have achieved from this business is like none the world as ever seen. I’m so big, that even Jeff Bezos himself wishes he had the kind of money I do. I’m so big they removed me from the charts because it simply wasn’t fair. Now I am asking you something and I might just ask you again. I am coming to you to tell you to invest. Invest in my corn oil business. You simply cannot lose money. I know a client that instantly made $300 in the first 30 seconds of owning the stock. The numbers literally only go up. And when you invest, I also get money. It’s a win-win situation. Buy my stocks. It’s only 5 dollars a month. You will literally never get a better deal in your life.