So I met this girl a while ago and she was so pretty and funny and smart. We fell in love and she invited me over to her place. We browsed my Pokémon card collection for a while and then we started making out and she took off her pants. Holy shit. She had an 8 inch dick, BUT she told me it was a feminine beppis so we kept on going. A few moments pass and she’s ass fucking me raw and I suddenly started suspecting . . . . this woman might actually be a dude. You see, she was really funny, women aren’t funny that is biologically impossible.

So I got off her dick and I asked her if she was a dude and she just smiled. That smile told me everything I needed to know. I demanded that she said no homo but she refused. I grabbed my Pokémon cards and was about to leave the room when she said “wait”, I turned around and she just grabbed her dick and started cummin in my general direction.

I tried to file a police report but they all just laughed at me. I keep asking he–ahem–HIM to say no homo but he refuses. Now I fear I might be gay. 😭