A female walks amongst us? M-m’lady! Let me ask you, while you are here, m’lady, my sweet sweet vulnerable princess of a thousand fair dreams, doest thee currently choose to mate with the common Jock Thundercock, or are you one of few females nowadays still patiently waiting for the one true nice guy to come and whisk you away from this aweful world? What, I am asking, m’lady, is does thee have a boyfriend, m’lady, and if so, is thou fair maiden still single? If it is so, that you do indeed have a boyfriend, then fuck this gay earth. I can guarantee thee, M’lady, that any boyfriend of yours doesn’t know real class or chivalry like me (I’m a nice guy), he probably spends his time on his Xbox playing CoD complaining about any period stained bed sheets of yours, while I, a true man of manners, learns another deadly Karate move to defend m’ladies such as yourself towards these kind m’lady mistreating scumbags. I love m’ladies juices, in whatever colors they may come in, there is nothing more natural, and M’lady deserves better than to be with such a jock plebian. You know, m’lady… I wasn’t going to say this but I…I even don the mighty fedora. And, I casually like to wear a few trilbys as well. My favourite one is actually the camouflage fedora 😉 Yeah, I know, I know…sorry about the ruined lingerie M’lady is currently wearing! I am known to have that effect on the nether regions of the female. So, my damsel of perfection, will thee at least consider leaving any plebian jockcock boyfriend you might currently have, and stepping into the land of my little pony? Remember, only females of true class will be intrigued by such an offer, sluts and whores are forever bound to gobble on the jockcock and repeatedly having their heart broken. But there is a way out, my fair Madame… a way out into the light and into the arms of me, if you would just let the the nice guy in. The nice guy, who opens doors for you wherever you go. The nice guy, whose fleshlight training has prepared me for the wild coitus of our first night together, shall thee accept my chivalrous offer.

Fore it is I, the true nice guy, who knows what a female needs. Or will thee, once again, throw a poor beggar like me into the dark lands of the friendzone and turn away, like so many a female hast done, and become a friendzoning whore like the rest? Please respond impromptu, I am on my knees for you m’lady, like a beggar before his queen.