I’m not like the other gays because I don’t get pleasure out of anal sex…

Have I had anal in the past? Of course I have, as most gay guys have. It’s just not my thing. People ask me all the time if I’m top or bottom and my first response is “What happened to vers? Did that suddenly disappear?”; and my second response is “I’m actually none of the above”. Then they look at me like I’m from Mars or something, like they can’t believe I don’t do anal.

It’s not that I don’t *do* anal, I just don’t get pleasure out of it like most people do. Why? How the hell should I know why? Why don’t you like pussy? Same reason (and before you ask, yes I have fucked pussy before as well, mostly to the same effect).

Some people have called me a “side guy” (whatever the hell that means), but I can’t stand the use of that term when describing someone such as myself. Side person (guy or girl) is someone you fuck ON THE SIDE apart from your regular partner/bf/gf/main man (hence the term). That’s what the fuck a “side guy/girl” is. Now STOP changing the god damn meaning of words!

I am an anal asexual, that’s what I identify as and that’s what I prefer to be referred to. And just like regular asexuals, it’s not that I can’t have anal, I just prefer not to.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.