and I lay on the floor, waiting for Santa to come through my door. But in through the night as my father did snore, the great figure that came in was not Santa I saw. I said “who are you? What are you here for? Don’t you know trespassing is against the law?”

But the figure said nothing and I said no more, the eery silence had shook my very core. I thought that it’s hand looked like a huge paw, it was wrapped around a present and it was clear who for.

I laughed and cheered with excitement and glee, “You really came here to give this to me?” The figure stepped forward so that I could see, the figure resembled bugs bunny. But large, fat and almost obese, this rabbit had a large belly in proportion to its teeth.

I asked who he was and began to make a fuss, but the furry in front of me wasn’t about to get sussed. The rabbit hit me with the force of a bus, I do believe that I was quite concussed. Grey like a fungus he announced himself to me, before I could cause anymore ruckus.

“I am the enigma that plagues your subreddits, I am the one that they call Chungus. My being here I’m sure is quite wondrous, but I’m sure you must now wonder what here is my purpose? I come bearing gifts for kids who are good, as any great spirit of Christmas should. Go ahead and open it, this present is yours don’t worry as of last minute it’s no longer the twenty fourth.”

I ripped open the present and that’s when I saw, the gift from this bizarre creature was Big Chungus 4! “Oh thank you Chungus!” I called up from the floor, “I’ve been wanting this since I saw it in the game store!”

“But how did you know? And how come you’re here? I thought you were a random meme that couldn’t physically appear!” Chungus did laugh and a twitch sprang in his ear, “You need not worry, nor wonder nor fear. Go now and play BC4 while I go check on your mother’s backdoor!”

I was puzzled by Chungus’ last statement but I was too distracted by wonder and amazement. The next morning I would come to regret my abatement for Chungus had locked my family inside our basement. It took quite a while for us to successfully call to the pavement, for help from anyone, a policeman or agent. Eventually we all grew rather impatient, bashed down the door and burst into the room adjacent. To say Chungus had screwed with us would be an understatement, but thankfully this story ends with his arraignment.

As we watched the officers lead him out our front door, I wondered if I could ever forget everything I saw. For Chungus’ actions broke more than just the law and so ends the story of Chunga Wunga 4: Chungus breaks in through the back door.