I get up out of my bed. My white skin comforts me as it lets me know I’m important. I take a sip from my white people water bottle. You know? The one without lead in it. I prepare to get dressed. On one side of my room I see gold chains and a beanie and on the other I see a nice suit. I smile at the thought of the only two white people outfits. I picked up the suit as, sadly, I have to go to work today. Another day at my white job. I work as a table consultant. What does a table consultant do? A table consultant, like all the other white people, does something nobody understands the benefit of and still gets paid a 100,000$ salary for. As I hop in my BMW or as I like to call it the whitemobile. I turn on the radio to listen to white people singing black music and head to the local Starbucks. Ironically, I like my coffee black. I make sure to place a 25 cent donation to help the starving kids in Ethiopia. I believe last week was Somalia. This is my little way of reminding God that I deserve everything I have. I arrive at work and pull into my parking spot. Sitting down at my desk, I begin dealing with my employees in the workhouse. I love telling black people what to do. It gives me a feeling of empowerment. I then ask my unpaid intern to grab me a coffee. I love having interns, I can see why slavery was so popular. I suddenly feel a strong urge. It’s time for my cigarette. I head outside and place it in my mouth. On the other side of the street I see a group of black adults smoking some Marajuanna. *“Uh oh”* I think, not the devil’s lettuce. I rush to finish my cigarette and think to myself “*I’m sure glad I don’t do drugs.”* Then quickly, out of fear, I reenter my work. I get one of the interns to put the cigarette in the trash and then return to my desk. Happy, knowing that I have the privilege of saving the environment and doing god’s work. With a good feeling in my heart and soul I grab some papers to sign, finish them in 45 minutes and then spend the rest of the day drawing [the cool s](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/724054870419832853/1034506702202093709/cool_s.png) on the financial documents. I go home happy, get into my white people bed and fall asleep. Knowing that every day will be as great as this one. Knowing that I have the greatest privilege of all. White privilege.