The basic tenets of Grillology:

1. Grilling is a fundamental right of mankind.
2. A man’s grill is his own private property. The right to own grills shall not be infringed.
3. Free and open access to public grills must be available for man to practice his inalienable right to grill despite his station in life.
4. Man has the right to grill using any energy source he deems acceptable as long as it does not infringe upon another man’s right to grill.
5. Man may grill any animal, plant or mineral he deems appropriate.
6. To cook a steak any longer than to achieve a medium rare temperature is an insult to both beef and our way of life.
7. Sausages must be flipped a minimum of four times.
8. No commies.