Stay out of people’s shit, and you’ll usually be good. Sometime, however, shit comes to find you.

Got “jumped” a couple weeks ago. Guy started talking shit, and kept following me, so I had to stand ground; I live close by and I wasn’t gonna lead him to my home.

He’s talking shit trying to intimidate me, but it was stickin, so he turned to fuck off. I made the mistake of letting my guard down and he spun and sucker punched me. It didn’t actually hurt, and I wasn’t dazed, but for some reason I just stood there and started laughing. I really don’t know why, but I’m bipolar so I’m willing to bet it’s because of that (I was manic at the time).

He goes for another, I try to block, but his bud had come up behind me and shoulder checked me to the side. Guy’s hit landed, bud shoulder checked me again, and I ended up with my back against a bus stop shelter.

I start blocking and throwing punches when I could, but 2 v 1 ain’t exactly a fair fight.

I was holding my own well enough; preventing heavy hits from landing, but then the guys cocksleeve bud puts me in a choke hold.

Now he was landing hits.

I start rocking side to side to get the guy off my throat, but he lands a kick to the back of my knee, and the first guy sacks me.

Naturally, I go down to my knees, palms on the pavement, and they start wailing on me.

They were only a few hits in before I managed to push back up again, but the second guy went for another choke hold. I grab his hands to stop it, and the first guy goes for the fave again.

This whole fight was dirty from the start, but now I’ve got choke holds and sacks, so I pull out the stops: sack the second guy who’s behind me, grab the first guy’s hair, and slam him to the ground with all I can.

For context, I have a Leatherman multitool that I EDC (in a leather holster on me belt), and I feel the second guy go for it.

Spin as fast I can, grab his throat, and start wailing on his face. 1st guy comes up behind me and starts slamming my ears and temple, so I break off.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see the Leatherman a few feet to the side; fucker managed to get it off me. I go for it as the second guy does, but the first guy grabbed me.

Fucker got it. Now I gotta worry about them pulling the knife.

At this point I am in a full on hypomanic state, adrenaline dumping into my veins, so I’m up like I didn’t take a single hit. They realize they aren’t accomplishing anything, so they fuck off.

I wanted to go after them, but they’ve got the knife now.

After the whole ordeal, I was left with a slightly sore throat, a tiny bit if swelling on the left side of my head, and a real inconvenient fat lip.

I was lucky as fuck they hit like bitches; I could have easily come out a lot worse than I did: first fight I’ve ever been in.

What bothers me most is that I made a few basic mistakes that I knew: keep an eye on the second guy, do t let myself get cornered, keep your guard up, shit like that.


I really miss my Leatherman :<