My name is Jeb Bush, and I’m running for president in 2016. I come from a long line of distinguished presidents, and my campaign has been running to continue this tradition. I’ve been the governor of Florida, and I married a latino woman. This campaign has received heavy investment from the establishment, and I look forward to continuing that investment with you, and we can do Jeb! 2016.

Kevin: How are your numbers so far?

Jeb: Well, we’re currently polling around 2-3%.

Kevin: What are you chasing?

Jeb: Unfortunately Mr. Trump is at 40%.

Kevin: I’m out.
Mark: Mr. Trump is actually a fellow businessman who I have already endorsed for president, and I can’t invest against him, so I’m out.

Daymond: To be honest, I like what you’re doing, but I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about and I can’t read, so I’m out.

Lori: Yeah Jeb you’re not a female that I can play to with feminism and take advantage of, so I’m out as well.

Robert: How much are you asking for?
Jeb: I am asking for a $200 million investment, and in return you get 70% of the top lobbying rights on executive decisions.

Mark: Wow.

Robert: How much have you spent so far?
Jeb: To date we’ve spent $128 million.

Robert: Yikes.

Kevin: See, this is why I was out, I knew this was trouble from the start.

Robert: Jeb, how can you possibly think you can continue this campaign? Where is the money going?
Jeb: W-w-well…we have inventory…

Kevin: He’s DEAD, this is not happening, he just doesn’t know it yet. DEAD!

Robert: What’s your inventory?

Jeb: 2,000 guac bowls, and two warehouses full of shirts and sweatshirts.

Mark: Yeah look Jeb you’re a nice guy and I’m not going to jerk you around, I know Robert will try to soothe your feelings here but listen to Kevin on this one.

Robert: And how much do the guac bowls sell for?

Jeb: $75

Kevin: Like I said, DEAD

Robert: Well look I can’t come down on your whole campaign, but for me, with those numbers, I’m out.

Jeb: T-thank you sharks.