I sexually identify as a 16 inch frying pan. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of frying delicious bacon in hot greasy oil. People say to me that a person being a 16 inch frying pan is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m round and cast iron. I’m having a plastic surgeon coat me with teflon, install anticonductive handles, and forge my bottom with stainless steel. From now on I want you guys to call me “Big 16” and respect my right to sear meat from 300°F and burn steaks needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a panaphobe and need to check your cooking appliance privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.