So on my way out of the house this morning I cane to the shocking realization that there are people in this world who call “hand sanitizer” “hanitizer.” On behalf of everyone else I’d like to take the time to type out special ‘fuck you’ for those “hanitizer” people. It is two words. Two words. And you have to go along and remove some letters willy nilly and then you fucking cram the two mutilated words together. Let’s look at “Applesauce” for example. “Apple” and “sauce.” You stick the two together and you’re golden. No letters removed here or there, plus it’s actually a real thing. “Hanitizer” is just bullshit. “Hand sanitizer” is the thing already – a fucking dense-ass liquid substance with a high level of alcohol content in it so it can kill everything it fucking touches. That is the object, it’s already completely fine as is. But no, you’re so fucking cool. You have to go out there and slam the two words together. “Handsanitizer” – it’s not correct but at least the letters are there. BUT NO, that’s not enough for you sadistic shitfaces, is it? You have to take out letters so that it is now “hanitizer.” And you know what that is? FUCKING BLOODY STUPID! That’s what it is. The phrase was fine as it was but you can’t make a fucking “d” sound, and you can’t make a fucking “s” sound, and you can’t even acknowledge the existence of the space between the two words. It’s disgusting. What’s that you say? What about words like “can’t” and “don’t?” Go fuck the Boar’s Head, well, boar head. They’re called contractions, they’re mildly informal, and they put a fucking apostrophe in there to make note of the letters they removed. Plus sometimes “can’t” or “don’t” or “shouldn’t” sounds better than “can not” or “do not” or “should not” so it gives you some variety. “Hanitizer” does no such thing. It only makes you sound stupid. Don’t fucking use the word “hanitizer.” Please. It’s fucking stupid. Use “hand sanitizer.”