A boy learns to use the bathroom correctly. A man learns to uses the bathroom effectively. A legend learns to use weird and complicated pissing tricks that require flexibility and long penises to impress their friends while shitfaced. There are the five fundamental tricks: The Handstand, The Underleg, The Overhead, The Dicktwister and the famous Arc d’Pissoff. These five tricks are easy to learn, but hard to master. My apprentice, I shall teach you the basics. Then, you can go on the variations of the five basics and create your own style. However, there is another trick you may have heard of. Possibly the reason why you’re here. One not performed successfully in years. The Reverse Underleg Overhead Bowl Shot. Many a man have failed this trick and accidentally pissed on their leg/in their mouth and vowed never to try it again, let alone any piss trick. You must not try this trick, ever! No matter how cool it may make you look when you’re wasted at a nightclub bathroom! You have talent, my boy. But you mustn’t go on the same path as many others did! You see, my friend and I were young and free, but we both wanted to pursue the ancient art of performative pissing. We learnt together, helping each other through our hardships, sharing our burdens, competing against each other and developing new and radical techniques together. One day, he connected to the Dark Realm for access to arcane knowledge and learned of this technique. He got shitfaced, said “watch this” and attempted it, without practicing prior. He pissed in his own mouth and swallowed it, and to make matters worse, he pissed on everyone and everything. He was disgraced and abandoned by his friends. He left the dojo the next morning, leaving nothing but a sticky-note and an empty glass from a hangover cure he made. To this day, I do not know where he is, but I somehow find myself blaming me of all people for what happened. I think I may have pushed him too far with my competitiveness, but it may have been his hunger for attention that got him there. From that day forward, I promised myself to never let anyone suffer a fate like his again! You must not suffer a fate like his! However, your father was the first to perform this trick successfully, so I believe you have the potential for greatness in you! Or the potential to develop kidney stones later in life, I’m not too sure