My associates and I refer to ourselves as a band of characters who are highly interested in the wear and lifestyle of an Italian luxury clothing line. I will repeat this many times for emphasis.

I invest a large amount of money into jewelry such as necklaces without precious gemstones embedded therein. My female counterpart is fond of nasally ingested recreational stimulants. Another of my female counterparts, whose name I cannot recall, propositioned me for sexual intercourse several nights ago. I obliged. I will not be maritally involved with neither them nor any of my other female acquaintances. I prefer to spend my hard-earned income on French luxury fashion pieces.

I will have you know that my station in life is so far superior to yours that, whilst your mother dwells in a makeshift shelter of tarpaulin, my recreational opiates are more expensive than the amount of money you put towards the temporary leasing of your current living space. Might I surmise that you are still attempting to earn a respectable amount of money by selling recreational drugs to residents of low-income housing? I must inform you that your endeavor has failed.

My relationship with my family is also admirable, as my mother’s mother and I will regularly share medication, although, needless to say, we each take it for very different reasons. This behavior has persisted for quite some time and is not novel to me. Additionally, my sexual conquests are such that I could conceivably get myself through school by offering sexual favors to my instructors, to which they would most certainly agree.

I purchased some luxury French footwear which possess soles in the long-wavelength end of the visible light spectrum; they were incredibly expensive. Your aviation business cannot possibly compare, and I must add that your oral odor is remarkably reminiscent of stale tobacco smoke. I would prefer having sexual intercourse with a woman who lives in low-income housing than be associated with the likes of you.

That reminds me of an experience I had when I was forcibly ejected from an airliner for partaking in illicit prescription narcotic usage. However, that is now as distant memory, as presently I chose to travel by my own personally chartered airplane. All those present should denounce the name of the airline company which made such a regrettable decision.

I am presently engaged in the distribution of illicit stimulants. My timepiece, like my aforementioned footwear, is incredibly expensive, and others can observe this when I tilt my wrist back to take yet another hearty swig of recreational codeine. As a final reminder of my immense sexual skill, when I partake in such carnal adventures with members of the fairer sex, they often have little to no need for artificial lubrication.

My associates and I refer to ourselves as a band of characters who are highly interested in the wear and lifestyle of an Italian luxury clothing line. I will repeat this many times for emphasis.