Darren we’ve been over this, you can’t keep posting funny chess ‘memes’ online, you need to come home and see your kids. Ever since you started playing ‘chess’ it’s like your a different person.

Whenever we even mention Google you instantly say holy hell, it’s not funny and it has to stop you are scaring the children.

When we tried to go on vacation you lashed out and screamed ‘bishop goes on vacation, never comes back’, what does that even mean

Whenever we tell you this you just call us ‘actual zombies’

Honey I love you but this has to stop, I don’t even know you anymore