Exactly, slap em as hard as you can and then when they’re crying, you start to feel real bad for them and get overtaken with guilt so you go up to them and go “I’m real sorry. How about I sing you a song to make up for it?” And then they’ll go “*sniffle*.. you KNOW I’m above music.. And I HATE IT.. *sniffle*” And then you go “Oh, that’s right. *Now* I remember why I slapped you so hard. You’re a prick.”

But you don’t stop there, oh no. You then slap them again and say “So you’re telling me, you’ve NEVER felt chills from listening to ANY song?” And they’ll pause. And then they’ll say “Well… maybe ‘happy birthday'” And you’ll go “Really?” And they’ll say “Yeah, but I was SIX.” And then you pull out your guitar and start singing happy birthday the extended edition (11 minutes). At first they’ll go “Come on, this is STUPID! I’m SO much smarter than anyone who would like THIS!” But you’ll just keep on singin’ and strummin’. And eventually they begin to sob. And then wail. Now every emotion that they’ve repressed since the age of 6 comes FLOODING back and they can’t control themselves. They reveal that during their 6th birthday party, something very disturbing happened between them and their step-father. And they became scared to let themselves feel anything after that. You’re disturbed, but you know you owe it to them to keep strummin that song to the end. They need the catharsis.

At the end of it all, you hug it out, and you see that the hairs on the back of their neck are standing on end. Chills. You smile and say “glad to have you back”.

Suddenly you’re confused as you realize you’re staring into a mirror. You’ve been alone in this room the whole time.