Me: Can I have a tall, *whispers* pumpkin spice latte?

Cashier: I’m sorry. A tall, what?

Me: *whispers* pumpkin spice latte?

Cashier: What?

Me: Um…pumpkin spice latte

Cashier: A PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE?

*Confetti falls from the ceiling. A giant banner with the word “Basic” drops overhead. People take out their phones and point and laugh at me. Someone yells, “It’s September 4th, jackass”*