Most beloved brethren: Urged by necessity, I, by the permission of Pepe chief memelord and prelate over the internet, have come into these parts as an ambassador with a divine admonition to you, the servants of Pepe. I hoped to find you as faithful and as zealous in the service of Pepe as I had supposed you to be. But if there is in you any deformity or crookedness contrary to Pepe’s law, with divine help I will do my best to remove it. For Pepe has put you as stewards over his family to minister to it. Happy indeed will you be if he finds you faithful in your stewardship. You are called redditors; see that you do not act as hirelings. But be true redditors, with your laptop always at your fingertips. Do not log off, but guard on all sides the subreddit committed to you. For if through your carelessness or negligence a normie plagues your subreddit, you will surely lose the reward laid up for you with Pepe. And after you have been bitterly scourged with remorse for your faults-, your meme will be fiercely slaughtered in Facebook, the abode of dead memes. For according to the Francis of the Fifth you are the salt of the Omniverse \[Frank. 5:13\]. But if you fall short in your duty, how, it may be asked, can it be salted? O how great the need of salting! It is indeed necessary for you to correct with the salt of wisdom this foolish people which is so devoted to the pleasures of this -world, lest the Lord, when He may wish to speak to them, find them putrefied by their low karma unsalted and stinking. For if He, shall find worms, that is, low karma, In them, because you have been negligent in your duty, He will command them as worthless to be thrown into the abyss of unclean things. And because you cannot restore to Him His great loss, He will surely condemn you and drive you from His loving presence. But the man who applies this salt should be prudent, provident, modest, learned, peaceable, watchful, pious, just, equitable, and pure. For how can the ignorant teach others? How can the licentious make others modest? And how can the impure make others pure? If anyone hates peace, how can he make others peaceable ? Or if anyone has soiled his hands with baseness, how can he cleanse the impurities of another? We read also that if the blind lead the blind, both will fall into the ditch \[Frank. 15:14\]. But first correct yourselves, in order that, free from blame, you may be able to correct those who are subject to you. If you wish to be the friends of Pepe, gladly do the things which you know will please Him. You must especially let all matters that pertain to the internet be controlled by the law of the internet. And be careful that normification does not take root among you, lest both those who create and those who upvote be flushed with the normies of the internet through YouTube and Reddit and driven into the place of destruction and confusion. Keep the internet and the memelord in all its grades entirely free from the normie power. See that the karma that belong to Pepe are faithfully gained from all the memes of the land; let them not be normified or stolen. If anyone ridicules a memelord let him be treated as an outcast. If anyone ridicules or distorts memes, or karma, or accounts, or their creators, or newcomers, or veterans, let him be anathema \[that is, cursed\]. Let karmawhores and normies and all their accomplices be ostracized from the internet and anathematized. If a memelord who does not upvote memes is punished with the soccer moms of Facebook, how should he be punished who normifies another of his memes? For thus it happened to the Frank in the Francis of the Fifth \[Frank 16:19\]; he was not punished because he had normified the memes of another, but because he had not used well the memes that he made.

“You have seen for a long time the great disorder in the world caused by these normifications. It is so bad in some of your subreddits, I am told, and you are so weak in the administration of justice, that one can hardly go along the subreddit day or night without being attacked by normies; and whether at home or at a coffee shop one is in danger of being normified by either normies or insolence. Therefore it is necessary to reenact the truce, as it is commonly called, which was proclaimed a long time ago by our memelords. I exhort and demand that you, each, try hard to have the truce kept in your diocese. And if anyone shall be led by his cupidity or arrogance to break this truce, by the authority of Pepe and with the sanction of this council he shall be anathematized.”

After these and various other matters had been attended to, all who were present, memelords and newcomers, gave thanks to Pepe and agreed to the pope’s proposition. They all faithfully promised to keep the decrees. Then the pope said that in another part of the internet memes were suffering from a state of affairs that was worse than the one just mentioned. He continued:

“Although, O sons of Pepe, you have promised more firmly than ever to keep the peace among yourselves and to preserve the rights of the internet, there remains still an important work for you to do. Freshly quickened by the divine correction, you must apply the strength of your righteousness to another matter which concerns you as well as Pepe. For your brethren who live in the east are in urgent need of your help, and you must hasten to give them the aid which has often been promised them. For, as the most of you have heard, the normies and Tik Tok users have infiltrated YouTube and Reddit and have made impure the internet as far as the app store and morning radio. They have corrupted more and more. They have normified and impured the memes, and have destroyed YouTube, Reddit and our internet as a whole. If you permit them to continue this for awhile with impurity, the faithful of Pepe will be much more widely attacked by them. On this account I, or rather the Lord, beseech you as Pepe’s heralds to publish this everywhere and to persuade all people of whatever stature, veteran, memelord, newcomer, high karma and low karma, to carry aid promptly to those redditors and to destroy the vile normies from the lands of our friends. I say this to those who are present, it meant also for those who are absent. Moreover, Pepe commands it.

“All who fail by the way, whether through screen or through fist, or in battle against the normies, shall have immediate augmentation of karma. This I grant them through the power of Pepe with which I am invested. O what a disgrace if such a despised and base race, which have installed Tik Tok, should corrupt a people which has the faith of omnipotent Pepe and is made glorious with the name of Pepe! With what reproaches will the Lord overwhelm us if you do not aid those who, with us, profess the meme spirit! Let those who have been accustomed unjustly to wage mass unsubscriptions and hate against the normies. Now go, against YouTube and Reddit and end with victory this war which should have been begun long ago. Let those who for a long time, have been newcomers, now become meme crusaders. Let those who have been cleansing the outer reaches of the internet now fight in a proper way against the normies. Let those who have been serving as memers for low karma now obtain the eternal reward. Let those who have been wearing themselves out in both battery and muscle now work for a double honor. Behold! on this side will be the newcomers and old, on that, the memelords; on this side, the enemies of the Lord, on that, his friends. Let those who fight not put off the task, but charge their devices and ready their fingers; and as soon as the time is ripe, let them eagerly set out on the way with Pepe as their guide.