Obligatory this happened roughly a year ago. I will try to make it as least vulgar as possible.

So the wife and I had been drinking (heavily I should add) while we were playing cards. It was a Friday night and we had both just got off of work and we just wanted to have a nice and relaxing night.

We have a 3 year old (2 year old at the time) and he was acting rambunctious so we decided it was time to call it a night and put him to bed.

So after getting him to bed, we get in our bed and start fooling around. Now, I don’t know what it is about drunk sex, but it is so much better to me than sober sex. We are trying all new positions, techniques, etc. Trying things I didn’t think I ever would try in the bedroom. So while in doggy style she whispers “Put it in my butt.” “For real?” I said as I was already getting in position to. She said yes, just be easy. So I carefully try to put it in there. And it was great. I can finally finish in her and not have to worry about wearing a condom or pulling out.

We finish and I look at her and say, That was amazing. I can’t believe you let me do that. She says, What do you mean? I told you to put it on my butt but you never did. That’s right guys. I was so drunk that I thought I was in her butt, but I was not. And I finished in her.

About a week later she has her period so I am thinking we are all good. I tell her it is for the best because there’s no way we can afford having two kids right now.

Week two comes around and suddenly she doesn’t feel to well and calls out of work because she is very nauseous. Yeah, you guessed it, pregnant. I got my wife pregnant by having what I thought was unprotected anal sex.

Skip to today, we have two amazing kids who I wouldn’t trade the world for. And a sweet and loving wife who cherishes those kids more than life itself.

TLDR: Wife and I were drunk. I thought we were having anal sex. Actually having vaginal sex. Wife got pregnant because of it.

EDIT: Guys I haven’t been on reddit long at all and this is the first time I have ever posted anything on here. I can’t believe it has gotten as many upvotes as it has. To clarify a few things up though. We had a boy. Also, I didn’t expect so many of you to be so insulting about this post. Good thing I’m tough skinned I guess. But yes, this is a very true story. I love both my kids very much. And NO, I WILL NOT TELL MY KIDS THIS STORY. You are fucking crazy to think otherwise. Hope I was able to make some of you laugh with it. I know I sure get a kick out of it now!