My blood is made out of salt. I consume salt for every meal, every day. I put a whole bottle of salt on every meal I eat. I salt every single drink I have, to the point where there’s so much salt in every drink that it dries up and turns into a desert. Speaking of deserts, I pulled a heist and the federal reserve and stole a bunch of gold bars, and you know what I did? I time travelled to the ancient world and traded it all for salt, pound for pound. I took it back to the present and eat a pound of salt every day before bed. Salt runs through my veins and pumps through my heart. If you were to stab my stomach, salt would pour out in an endless stream. I dream every day of becoming a being of pure salt. And one day, that dream will come true