“So, what’s your fat story?” I’m glad you asked.

So, I thought I couldn’t eat the whole pizza, but then I did. So there I was, four entire pizzas later, chugging down my 1.5 litre coke bottle. My doctor told me they had discovered a new type of diabetes… in me! It was type all diabetes! All the types, even undiscovered ones! They’re calling it ‘deadabetes’. So, I went to McDonald’s to celebrate the diagnosis, and they had the *audacity* to tell me STRAIGHT TO MY FACE that the fucking ice cream machine was broken.

So, I threw a fit because they wouldn’t serve ice cream to fat people, and then went to Dairy Queen. Then Dairy Queen had the fucking audacity to not allow me to buy 100 ice creams because ‘it’s too much’. Those fucking fatphobics. So I got a job there so I could have unlimited ice cream and no one tell me no, but then I got fired after a week cause the boss said I can’t dispense ice cream straight into my mouth in front of customers.

Then my boss showed me her personal ice cream dispenser. That’s when things got really freaky…

Luckily, I was fast enough to call her fatphobic and in a moment people cancelled her on Twitter, so I was safe from my former boss. And then all the staff in the office stood up and clapped.

(courtesy of [this comment thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/Cringetopia/comments/pwtpid/comment/hej6byy/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3))