Welcome to the Super Soggy Science Center. I’m your host: Critical. The master science guy man. Today’s scientific discussion: “Why do we hate cockroaches? What about them makes us feel yucky and gross and stinky?” To analyze this let’s talk about what roaches are composed of. Much like all life on earth, they’re comprised of hydrogen, oxygen, carbon, nitrogen, sulfur, phosphorous, a bunch of other elements… but the main element that cockroaches are comprised of is filth. They are filthy, abominable, biological shitstains. Evolution’s greatest mistake. You wanna know why the universe keeps expanding so fast? It’s to get as far away from cockroaches as fucking possible. Look at these things! Look at them! They’re disgusting! They’re fucking gross! I don’t like them. No one likes them. History says Booth assassinated Abraham Lincoln, but that’s a lie. The truth is Abraham lincoln had a cockroach on his leg, figured life wasn’t worth living anymore, and kindly asked Booth to just off him. Much of history’s greatest mysteries can be solved by simply looking at the cockroaches in the context there. For example: Atlantis. They say Atlantis sunk into the sea never to be seen again. But where were cockroaches at the time? Were they alive? If they were alive then there’s a very good chance Atlantis sunk itself to get away from the cockroaches; the only true way to escape their fury. Dinosaurs? How did those bitches go extinct? Well let’s look at when cockroaches came into existence. Was it around the same time as the dinosaurs? It was. We have our explanation; they killed themselves in order to get away from the roaches. Scientifically speaking, cockroaches suck fuck. They’re abominable, lonesome, detestable, odious, despicable, contemptible, damnable, diabolical, disgusting, rancid, putrid, fucking gross yucky yuck-yuck-yuck masters. That’s what they are. They look like shit. They are shit. Fuck cockroaches, I hate those things. Everyone does. They’re just foul, nauseating, rancid, putrid, disgusting, repulsive, revolting, distasteful, vomitus, nasty piles of unpalatable anus in existence. I hate cockroaches. Most people do. The ones that don’t, they should. Cockroaches are the worst insects. The worst creatures in this universe. In this corporeal dimension, nothing is more disgusting than a cockroach. So thanks for tuning into this Super Soggy Science Center. Hopefully we scientifically explained why human beings don’t like cockroaches. See ya.