That’s right. You heard me.

Butt hair ropes should not be allowed in stores, in any stores where they sell ropes.

I know people will disagree with this, saying stuff like “Ow really? Would you even notice it was made out of human butt hair, if you didn’t ask the seller what it was made out of.”

Well no, and I know that sometimes not knowing things is better than knowing, but I always ask if I buy a rope, because I need to know if it has been grown by some sweaty man or not.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about non-animal products, but humans are animals too, so it doesn’t solve the issue. I can’t accept that there is some Chinese factory full of men trying to grow their butt hair just for this purpose, it’s sick!

Now if the butt hair was lab made, I might reconsider my stance on the issue, but even then, it is still butt hair.

I don’t want my grandchildren borrowing ropes from me that are made of human butt hair, my reputation would sink so low, unimaginably low.