“HARREH” Dumbledore roared as he leapt into the air, did a somersault, and landed on Filch’s cat, killing her instantly. “DID YA” he then advanced towards Professor Sprout and performed a swift roundhouse kick to her skull. He then spun around and targeted Professor Flitwick next “PUT YA” he bellowed as he ran at full speed and tackled Flitwick to the ground. Dumbledore kipped up from the floor and pulled out a Glock 19 from his robes. “NAME” he shouted as he shot Hagrid square in the forehead. “IN THA” He threw the gun at Hedwig, knocking her off her perch, as he leapt upon a Nimbus 2018, completed an entire Quiditch match by catching a snitch, flew back into the room, and finally approached Harry. He grasped Harry’s head on either side and squeezed until Harry’s head was crushed into a handful of red pulp “GOBLETA FIYAHHH?????”