We have all marveled at the size of Josh Allen’s hands and how far he can throw a football. He has already given many Bills fans massive erections, but to truly understand this fine specimen himself, we need to evaluate just how big his dude piston is.

In this investigation I’ll try to see if I can get multiple looks at bulges and match them up with some numbers and see if I can get a good look at how big his whoopee stick is.

[Source A](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/hand-size-trump-debate/) This source can tell us that hand and foot size can be correlated to each other, but overall hand size compared to dick size is not. What you can do is determine finger ratios of the ring finger, but even then it mainly tells you whether something is big or small or average, not exact numbers. I’ll have to keep looking, doesn’t look like I’ll be able to figure it out this way.

[Source B](https://imgur.com/a/v1OiC13) This picture is taken from an interview that Josh Allen did with Liz Gonzales. Josh has things in each pocket which makes this a little harder to gauge, probably a phone and a wallet, but I’ve highlighted the area of his pants that do not move at all when he walks. This is likely his erect penis. It is more probable than not that he is currently erect because Liz is freaking gorgeous. Yes, Josh has a girlfriend, but male penasia (that’s plural for penis) do not just stop functioning around other attractive women because of it. It’s not a dog, you can’t teach it to lay down. This is just one picture but it’s a good one, I’ll see if I can find another. This is one I might use later.

[Source C](https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/Z8nCBRtYETC3cn3HfMnzwg–~A/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjtzbT0xO3c9ODAw/http://media.zenfs.com/en/homerun/feed_manager_auto_publish_494/a3a5d60287d0d2d6a1aa80cdc20749e7) This would be a great picture to use but the towel is in the way, preventing me from getting a clear look at any sort of bulge. I fully realize that he will be wearing a cup, but I know that we can determine the size of the cup if we can get a clear shot of it with no towel in the way.

[Source D](https://imgur.com/a/kqzh0m7) This is one of the best shots I got. In this picture you can clearly see the outline of the middle of his protective cup, which is roughly 60% down where his dick to floor measurement is the smallest. I think I’ll be able to use B and D to continue with this investigation.

So, using sources B and D, I can copy the area of where I think his dick is and compare it to the rest of his body. Josh Allen currently stands at a height of 196 cm. I’ll use centimetres for now as I can narrow it down more easily for my brain.

[Exhibit A](https://imgur.com/a/WgMffGc) Using the estimated area of Josh’s dick, I made a tower of Allen dicks to see how many I could fit in the picture. I accidentally cropped out his shoes so I added the area above his head. It’s about the same area covered. In this picture, I took my estimation of Josh’s dick and was able to fit it 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000001 times within his 196 cm frame. To figure out the size of one unit, we need to divide his frame by the amount of dicks I could fit in him. This came out to infinite cm or almost an even infinite inches. Pretty big. Let’s try the other one and see if we can get it close. If it’s close I think I will have cracked the case.

[Exhibit B](https://imgur.com/a/tp3oPlG) Using a similar tactic, the tower of Allen dicks I spitballed a little bit, mainly because he was not flatfooted and was only able to fit partial dicks in areas of his body. All told though, you cannot fit his dick in any frame or photo as its too big.

**The conclusion of my study is that Josh Allen’s penis size is currently infinite inches when erect.**

The current average of male penis size in the United States is 5.16 inches. Josh Allen’s penis vastly clears this mark.

To help you stretch your penis after becoming depressed about your own dick size after reading this study, I’ve enclosed a picture of [Rachel Bush.](https://www.instagram.com/p/Bo9_e5DAc0I/) You’re welcome.

EDIT: Never knew Josh Allen’s dick would give me platinum.