To the Buffoons behind the USA Today crossword puzzle, Today’s (2/12/20) clue for 10 down was “Cookie that some people eat with mustard”, i eventually filled in “OREO.” I was confused but willing to admit my ignorance for the sake of completing your godforsaken puzzle, and then i tried it. you bastards.

I Would hope that given the cultural influence of the USA today crossword puzzle, the puzzle masters would exert *some* sort of quality review for their clues, oreos and mustard—I can now inform you with learned experintial certainty—are wretched.

Who exactly are the “some people” that consume oreos with mustard? I would to have a word with them. If you could kindly provide their phone numbers and home mailing adresses, i would be most appreciative.

I also would be very appreciative if you would kindly refund $0.14—the exact cost of the 4 Altoids i had to consume to get the taste out of my mouth—to my venmo. i’m willing to forgive the cost of the oreo:$0.18. the mustard was free.