Short background story: I’m a foreign exchange student. I live in the southern United States and have an awesome relationship with an awesome guy. Obama came to office a little earlier than usual and was running late for a speech. I decided to be an idiot and not respond to him by walking out of the room and into the hall to applause. Instead I started chuckling and saying, “Well, this is how I never get to finish my speech.”

The little flip of his face said “Well, if you’d rather hear me say something racist you fucking racist!”

Well, I lost it. I started chuckling again and said, “Well, if your father would have fucking murdered me, I’d better not do that. If your father fucking murdered me, I’d better not do that either. And if your mother and father fucking murdered me, I’d better not do that either. Now stop laughing. Shut up. Now I have a problem. I have actually gotten better at dance and singing and have a great relationship with an amazing girl. I don’t have nearly as much of an issue with Obama as I would with either of them. So stop hoping that my father fucking did anything racist. Or even just fucking racist. There’s no way that I could have turned this lazy and turned this stupid. I’m so tired of hearing people say the unspoken rule of the American president is “if the person who fucking talks gets shit worse, the person who fucking talks gets shit worse”.

Well, I wrote this to prove that it’s not and Obama pooped all over me. Hopefully I won’t get shot by his douchebag Obama.

TL;DR I made Obama look like a massive racist and Obama pooped all over me.

EDIT: Obligatory RIP inbox. Also, I’m 23 and sounded like a massive racist.

EDIT 2: Seriously people, I’m not born or raised in Singapore. I moved here about two years ago and obviously don’t speak the local language. It’s actually really hard to learn English especially in a country with such awesome people.