The only men girls want to fuck are Alpha males, and I’m king among them.

 My name is Christoph Giordano. I’m half Italian, half German. My dad is a wealthy scientist. I spent my early years growing up between Norway and Germany. I’m pure European man, and I speak 6 languages. Norwegian, German, English, French, Swedish and the language of love. I went to high school at the best school in southern California, got all A grades. I was the MVP sports star in Football, American Football, Basketball and Weightlifting. I had sex with every attractive girl there. My dick is around 8 inches long and thick as coke can. I benched 250kg my senior year, and I got perfect scores on SAT exams. I went to Harvard for undergrad school, and modelled on the side. I decided though that acting and music were my real passions, and since then I’ve starred in many obscure European art films you havent heard of. I get nearly universal praise for my acting, I’m considered one of the best. I completely transformed the underground trance scene with my DJ sets, but nobody knows it, I go by an enigmatic psuedonym. I have a choice of several places to live, my parents own a luxury cabin in the Alberta mountains, we have a condo in southern California, apartments in Tokyo, Berlin and London, and an estate on the foothills of Ibiza. When I was in the Norwegian military for mandatory service, I ranked best in class. I’m a black belt in Judo, and expert level in Krav Maga.

 I win marathon races. I fuck more women than most porn stars. I built a separate room for my trophies and diplomas. I own a Porsche, Benze, Lamborghini and 4 motorcycles. I wear designer clothes and start fashion trends. Longcat is my cat. I’ve partied in every western capital. I can do better magic than Houdini. I’ve traveled to almost every country. I win every videogame. I once made a woman come so hard she needed to be hospitalized. In 10 years I’ll be a movie star, what will you be doing?.

 I once saved a girl from drowning in an icy lake while snowmobiling in northern Yukon. After I pulled her out, things happened. She was hot, I was hot, and we made things spicy right there. But it got too hot, and we melted through the ice. I had no choice but to save her from the icy waters again. But that time I learned my lesson, and waited till we got to shore to fuck again. While on a train in France I wrote a poem in 10 minutes, and later that day won the biggest slam poetry competition in the continent. I was a male stripper in Madrid, and I was so popular that when I left they were willing to go bankrupt for a decade to sign me on again. I may or may not have my own criminal underworld that owns half of Europe. My poker skills are so good they’re being studied by Stanford. You might be thinking “Hey, doesnt it get lonely at the top, dont you get tired of being flawless?” Nah, I’m certainly a flawed person. I’m not very good at knitting, or painting pottery. Other than that, name something and I’m better than you at it. I’m not braggin, this is just a short biography. If I wanted to brag, I’d start listing my bigger accomplishments. Are you even a tenth the man I am? Are you even more value than the lint in my pocket? No, nobody is.

 Screw the Alpha males, they’re Betas to me. I’m what’s cash, I’m what’s clutch. Worship me.