My favorite show is Better Call Saul, and I recently got my imaginary girlfriend to start watching it. She absolutely loves it, and her favorite character is Pryce the Playuh because she thinks I look like him. For her birthday yesterday, I surprised her with 3 pies (apple, pumpkin, and rhubarb). She immediately started eating the apple pie, so I lost my shit and yelled, “No, dumbass biatch! You’re supposed to squat on them! It’s a reference to Better Call Saul and your favorite character Pryce!”

I did not attack her, but she started crying for no reason, saying that I am taking this show too seriously, and that she doesn’t really like the show at all, only pretending to so that my feelings wouldn’t get hurt. I felt like slapping her with the rhubarb pie right then and there, but I controlled my anger and calmly said, “Since our values no longer align, we cannot see each other anymore. Have a good life.” Then I took the rhubarb and pumpkin pies to my room (I let her have the apple pie) and squatted on them alone, silently crying to myself.

The whole day today, her daughter (41F, also imaginary) has been blowing up my phone with hateful voicemails, saying that I am a horrible boyfriend and that I broke her mom’s heart. But I don’t think I did anything wrong. I dealt with the situation with a calm head even though I was enraged. And yes, my ex-girlfriend was a great woman with an amazing personality, but it is my right to prefer to seek relationships with Better Call Saul fans. Am I the asshole?