I can confidently say, without possible risk of hyperbole, that golfers are literally worse than terrorists. Let’s look at the facts:
1. Have infiltrated the highest levels of their respective governments
2. Want to impose their twisted, archaic beliefs on everyone
3. Silly headwear
4. Baggy pants
5. Fundamental lack of respect for women and minority populations
6. Reached peak strength in the dark days of the late 1990s and early 2000s
7. In a sweet, steady decline ever since
Am I referring to teeists? Or to terrorists? Hard to tell, isn’t it? It should now be quite obvious that the two groups are one and the same.