As you go asleep you are alerted by your ability that somebody you love is having a nightmare. You transport to the dream and see hordes of eldritch abominations in a wasteland made solely of blood and guts, you are terrified beyond belief. You summon a weapon despite all this, it’s a sword glowing with some spectral energy thats hanging off of the blade, swinging the blade makes a laser beam. The hellbeasts begin advancing toward you while making loud and agonizing screeches. You slash at the horde, the energy makes short work of them. The monsters keep coming to you, attempting to bite down on you with their millions of teeth as they stare you down with their billions of eyeballs. Whip, slash, cut. Your sword continues to eliminate the creatures. An hour of pure battle ensues, you are fighting the horde down to the last 10 and you don’t even know who you are trying to save. The last creature gives its dying breath and the underworld you are in fades away and is revealed to be a lovely garden filled with beautiful outdoor architecture and flowers. You see your love standing infront of you, they’re wearing a white veil and it’s a bit difficult to make out who it is. You move closer and say “Hello? Are you okay?”. They respond with something but it’s hard to understand what they’re saying at all. You wander close to the person, you’re true love. You can feel both of your heartbeats, it’s as if you both know you are destined to be with eachother. You put your hand to the veil, they put their hand on yours and help you lift it off their face. You then see a pair of beautiful eyes staring back at you aswell as their pretty nose. You lift of the rest of the veil and it turns out your love was Dr. Doofenschmirtz the whole time. You drop your sword with a massive CLANK as you begin making out hard, this outcome was completely unexpected but you don’t question love, you don’t question nature, you don’t question fate. The long nose is a problem at first when making out but you get past that immediately since your yearning for eachother is simply too big to be obstructed by even the sheer awesomeness of their nose. You hold his hand and lead him into a small cottage. There is a gas stove and a great seating area in the living room, but of course that isnt what you’re REALLY after. You continue through the house until you find the bedroom, a single bed awaits, fit for two people. You make love, the experience being like no other. You bang until the sun rises again.

Fast-forward 19 years, you are living the greatest life, it’s in the middle of summer and your two kids who are now 17 are helping out with you setting up your barbecue. The whole family is over and the sun is shining brightly. You can’t help but love Doofenschmirtz family as your own as well, they treat you with the same respect back. You can’t help but love your children too, they look like tiny versions of the very person you fell in love with after all. Your daughter walks up to you and Doofenschmirtz and says “Hey im hungry, is dinner ready?”. You respond “Hi hungry, I’m dad!” but then your lover says “No, WE’RE dad!” You both laugh at the cheesy joke as your daughter looks at you with an expression of dissappointment. “Dont worry sweety, we’ll start cooking soon I just need to get the coal out of the garage, we’re having my favourite food today so I’ll make it extra special. go play the nintendo switch with your brother in the meantime.” you say. She walks away after saying excitedly “You make the best sausage sandwiches daddy!” You kiss your husband on the forehead after your daughter leaves and you say “Be riiight back my sweet doofy.”. You walk to the porch of the cottage, the air feels as refreshing as the first amount of water drunk after a 10 year trek through the desert. You breath deeply as you close your eyes just to appreciate this lovely get-together. You then go back to your task and find the coals, you begin to pick them up with your strong arms but then you see a flashing light in the sky, you put your hand up to your forehead in order to see it clearer. The flashing light gets brighter and closer, it sounds like it’s starting to call out your name. You feel quite energised.

You wake up, it’s a bright morning but not as bright as you prieviously lived. you see your wife as well as a long stream of tears hanging from your eyes reaching down to your pillows and even down the side of the bed. Your wife says “Sorry sweetie, I woke you up because it seemed you were crying.”. You wipe the tears and say “Huh, that’s weird.” in a joking tone. Your wife says with a concerned face “There’s nothing troubling you hun? You know I hate it when you’re not upfront with me…”. “Nothing at all sweety, thanks for worrying though.” you say as you kiss her on the forehead. “Anyways I’m gonna make breakfast, we’re having bacon sandwiches. Your favourite.” “Thank you honey.” you say as she leaves the room. You get out of bed and go toward the window, you stare at the view of the city, everybody seems to be enjoying their time a lot more than you are. You put your hand to glass and breathe a long sigh with the steam hitting the window and making a depressing mark. You then whisper softly as even more tears drip down your cheeks.

“Where did you go my sweet doofy?”