Did you know that spiders cannot physically die of natural causes? If kept safe, a spider can continue to live and grow larger for a theoretically unlimited amount of time. In fact, in China there exists a collection of ‘holy’ spiders, hatched some 2,800 years ago during the height of the Mang-Tsun dynasty.

So I walk up to this bitch (apparently right after she got divorced) and say “what’s up Karen you wanna go for a jog this afternoon haha” and she’s like “please just leave me alone” and I’m like “whatever bitch” and then like an hour later get called into our HR person’s office and they’re like “you gotta stop harassing Karen she’s going through a lot right now, she’s just signed her divorce papers” And I’m like “hah who’d married that skank, someone with a wheelchair fetish?” And my HR person (Hank) was well like “come on man, they’ve been married for 16 years. They’ve been having trouble since her accident last year. She thinks he blames her for getting into the accident that killed their kids” and I’m all like lol So I leave and I’m hungry so I go to grab my lunch (turkey and provolone) only to see, lo and behold, that dumb bitch Karen set her bag of lunch RIGHT in front of mine!! so I write out a note saying how glad I am to be working with her but if she puts her lunch in front of mine again I swear to fuck I will finish the job that God couldn’t So I go through the rest of my day joking around with Karen every time I see her even though she is I giant cunt about it (my favorite was ‘accidently’ dropping a pair of scissors on her colostomy bag lol) and I have to ignore the picture of that fucking rat whenever I walk by her desk So I finish my day asking for her ex husband’s number since I need a new wingman to look for some babes with and she fucking flips it and when she’s yelling at me I’m all like “maybe if you don’t want to get divorced you shouldn’t have gotten hit by a drink driver you ever think of that bitch” and then she rolled away aggressively So that was my Thursday.

ok so I am ultimately PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW because my STUPID INSENSITIVE BIGOT OF A SCIENCE TEACHER WONT COVER THE SKELETON IN OUR CLASSROOM!!!! ive told him THOUSANDS of TIMES that i have severe anxiety from sans and ive actually developed ptsd from the sans fight and i have to carry an inhaler everywhere i go now because when i see bones or the color blue i start hyperventilating because of panic then if I don’t take my inhaler it turns into a ptsd episode and i already had to be sent home 3 TIMES BECAUSE THE SKELETON IN MY SCIENCE CLASS TRIGGERED ME!!!! AND HE WONT COVER IT!!!!!!! like????? i dont know what to do ive tried talking about it to the councilor but they said my condition isnt real???? like um YEAH IT IS??? i would know??????????? cause I wake up screaming and in tears each night because i have a recurring nightmare where SANS TELLS ME IM GOING TO HAVE A BAD TIME THEN HAS THE FUCKING DECENCY TO TO TELL ME IVE DIED 10 TIMES, AND THAT I HAVE NO FRIENDS!!!! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT FUCKING TRIGGERS ME???????? and it just PISSES ME OFF how the school CARE THST I AM ON THR BRINK OF OFING BECAUSE OF THIS!!!!!!!!!

I’m sick of seeing people in line at Walmart pull out their EBT cards (with their hair all done, wearing diamond jewelry) to pay for their 6 grocery carts full of steak and lobster, and then hop into their Lamborghinis with the suicide doors I SEE THIS ALL THE TIME and then go home to their gated section 8 community where they drive straight into their inground pool full of gold coins YES THIS HAPPENS I work 180 hours a week and I can’t even afford a McDonald’s hamburger meanwhile these leeches on MY TAX MONEY are lowering the value of my house by floating around with their 9 children in a HOT AIR BALLOON.

Do I have any questions? Unless you are a published theoretical physicist and have earned a Master of Science and two PhDs, have an IQ of 187, and went to college at 11, research String Theory at Caltech, switched disciplines from bosonic string theory to heterotic string theory and reconciled the black hole information paradox using a string network condensate approach, worked on the string theory implications of gamma rays from dark matter annihilations and considered a method for optimizing a 500 GeV particle detector to this end, jointly wrote a paper on supersolids to be presented at an Institute of Experimental Physics topical conference on Bose-Einstein condensates, keep a whiteboard in the living room for scientific theories containing virtual particles in quantum mechanics or series of Riemann zeta functions, then no I will not ask you any questions.

DUHHHHH FORTNITE BAD DUHHHH BRORTNITE BRAD!!1!1 IS THAT ALL YOU DEPRESSED FUCKS CAN SAY? FORTNITE FORTNITE EMOJI INSTA BAD EMOJI EMOJI BAD BAD!!1!1 I FEEL LIKE IM IN A FUCKING ASYLUM FULL OF DEMENTIA RIDDEN OLD PEOPLE WHO CAN DO NOTHING BUT REPEAT THE SAME FUCKING WORDS ON LOOP LIKE A BROKEN FUCKING RECORD.

Are you autistic? You most likely are if you’re an atheist, seeing how atheism is the ideological byproduct of a neurogenetic and spiritual malfunction comorbidly concomitant with low functioning autism as the result of a bioexcess in deleterious mutational load. This is why, hence the PATHETIC little shitstain you have the AUDACITY to refer to as a comment, your theological subspecies are incapable of both the abstract thought, abductive reasoning, and understanding of biblical allegory and metaphor required for a belief in God – in conjunction with your offensively blatant lack of the slightest iota of ability to process God’s gifts of irony and satire even in their most base, rudimentary manifestations. You’re genetically FUCKED, you vile reprobate scum – to put it euphemistically, kid. Not even Jesus will save you now.

Wowwwww, you meow like a cat! That means you are one, right? Shut the fuck up. If you really want to be put on a leash and treated like a domestic animal then that’s called a fetish, not “quirky” or “cute”. What part of you seriously thinks that any part of acting like a feline establishes a reputation of appreciation? Is it your lack of any defining aspect of personality that urges you to resort to shitty representations of cats to create an illusion of meaning in your worthless life? Wearing “cat ears” in the shape of headbands further notes the complete absence of human attribution to your false sense of personality, such as intelligence or charisma in any form or shape. Where do you think this mindset’s gonna lead you? You think you’re funny, random, quirky even? What makes you think that acting like a fucking cat will make a goddamn hyena laugh? I, personally, feel extremely sympathetic towards you as your only escape from the worthless thing you call your existence is to pretend to be an animal. But it’s not a worthy choice to assert this horrifying fact as a dominant trait, mainly because personality traits require an initial personality to lay their foundation on. You’re not worthy of anybody’s time, so go fuck off, “cat-girl”.

Joemama is Joe Swanson’s African ancestor, who appeared in “Untitled Griffin Family History”. He, like his descendant, is paraplegic, paralyzed from the waist down. In lieu of a wheelchair, he used a wild boar as his method of mobility. His best friends were Nate Griffin and Quagdingo. The three were captured by Cleveland from South Carolina, and brought to the American British colonies, along with Tobi, Ali Williams, and the African ancestors of Tom Tucker and Diane Simmons. It is unknown what became of Joemama following the arrival in the new world. The status of the wild boar is unknown as well.

Start using mod approved words! Instead of virgin, say Redditeur!