Well sweety, I’m glad you asked. Before we do this. I do have a slightly weird fetish. I like to be dressed in a wedding dress covered in cake/deserts, while the girl is dressed in some ugly, monstrous, non human outfit with full make up – preferably resembling the Uruk-Hai from the Lord Of The Rings. We pick a random Pokémon card out of a top hat and try to imitate its sound during the act. I have webbed toes which are really sensitive, so that takes up a large portion of foreplay (I also use them to masturbate but that’s besides the point). We draw on each other with crayons and shave each other’s body’s using whipped cream as shaving foam. We try all sorts of sex moves (the dirty pirate, red dragon, pink sock, bull ride, Mexican halloween, the houdini, charizard etc.). I won’t go into too much detail, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. We bring all the pets we own and have them in the same room (we need spectators and they’re the best we can manage). We both have bananas in our back doors and we force feed them to one another just before the end. Then I finish in a jar of Miracle Whip, you finish in the fish tank. we then put the Miracle Whip on rice cakes for a nice romantic dinner. Then we brush each other’s teeth, exfoliate and go cuddle on the roof. We good?