Throwaway account, not because I don’t want him to see this, but because if my other friends did, I’d get clowned to absolute shit.

Me and this friend have only known eachother for a few years, and we’ve gotten to be very close buddies in that span of time. We met online originally, but after realizing we only live about an hour away from eachother, we started hanging out in person pretty often for the past year. I’ve always known he was gay. We’re the same age at 18. I’m on the leaner side and about 5’8”, he’s 6’1” and I’m not gonna say shredded but definitely extremely well built. And to be honest I’ve always found him to be kinda hot, even as a straight, (now questioning) male. For the entire duration of our friendship, neither of us have had significant others. For me it’s because I was never really looking, and for him he just says he’s waiting for “the right one” to come along. I always rolled with it, as I have always been straight so I wouldn’t know the difficulties of finding a good boyfriend, but lately I’m starting to think he found the one—and it’s me. The past couple months he’s been acting way more affectionate and even a bit protective. Every time we go out he will hold me closer to him if there’s other guys around us. He never used to be touchy-feely, but now he just grabs me whenever he wants and if we’re hanging out at his place he acts quite “playful”, for lack of better words. He also started texting me a lot more, just throughout the day. Then his texts started getting flirty. At first I was just ignoring the flirty messages, but he was persistent, and I decided to play along one night. Yeah… that turned into almost every night. I just get a rush from him. It’s like he knows everything to say to get me flustered—I’ve literally thrown my phone and just buried my face in my pillow because of how this guy makes me melt like a damn puddle. Last weekend I drove up to him like usual, but the whole time it’s like he couldn’t contain himself. We went out with his friends and every chance he had, he got close to me. Sometimes I’ll spend the night at his place if we have plans for the next day or if I’m too tired to drive back. Last Saturday was one of those times. And what happened was what prompted me to make this post. Normally I’d just ask if I could sleep on the couch or something if I was gonna be staying the night at his place… and you can probably already tell where this is going… This time, he offered I sleep in his bed, with him. Of course, I didn’t decline. Right away he pulls me into his arms and next thing you know we’re just straight up cuddling. That night was the best sleep I’ve ever had in my life. And even though it’s been a week, I still can’t stop thinking about it. I want to spend every night with him now. He makes me feel so warm and fuzzy, so loved… shucks… I just wanted to share this because I honestly don’t know how I feel right now. I never thought I’d feel this way about a guy. But he kinda just took me into his world, and I don’t wanna leave.