Everywhere I walk, whether it’s the mall, the sidewalk, in school, etc., I bear right. Walking traffic should be seen as the same as vehicle traffic – in order to keep things moving smoothly, the most logical and common sense thing to do is fucking bear right.

Then it doesn’t become a constant issue of weaving in and out of others at different speeds, single people facing you, several in a horizontal line facing you, avoiding bags, scooters, baby strollers, the regular running child that parents ignore.

But no, after a lifetime of this not a god damn thing has changed. Nobody picks up on this, common sense is completely absent in this country.

It’s an open space, so people will walk on the right, the left, they’ll go super fast, super slow, let their kids weave and bob through crowds. I want to fucking shop, this is a mall, not DoubleDare studios. I’m not in the mood for an obstacle course. I don’t want to stop awkwardly to say “excuse me” every 10 seconds. Keep your fucking little brat away from me. If you move at a snail’s pace, roll your fat ass on the outer edge of the hallway. If you want to have a pow-wow with your entourage, sit the fuck down somewhere. If you see someone you know, i want to punch you for stopping right smack in the middle of an open hallway to discuss Jr. Sonofabitch’s soccer game.