sex is very bad for you I cannot tell a lie

 if Jesus sees you do it then you’re surely gonna die

 and it feels really bad like your penis is on fire

 please believe us when we say this cuz the situation’s dire

 butts no, boobies no, naked lady movies? no!

 dont show us body parts that make the peepee or the poopies

 the best advice that my father said to me

 your number one goal in life

   ***KEEP THAT DINGLE DROOPY***

   wait a minute dad howd we even get alive

 did you possibly have sex so that we could both survive?

 my boy, my son, please let me just explain

 I only did it twice to preserve the family name

   \*sad music\*

 I’m sorry, dad.

 \*gun shot\*

   we’ve had to kill our dad cuz he broke the only rule

  we didn’t want to do it but his actions weren’t cool

  the moral of the story

  I think it’s pretty clear

  you gotta go and kill your dad

  **This actually is not a joke.**