Narrator: It was a beautiful day in the badlands. The sniper was filling his jarate. He had a special plan for the engineer. He was going /*brief pause* to be a urinal today. The sniper walked to the cap and saw the engineer. They went off to the room and began their filthy deeds. The nauuuuughty engineer was tied to the dispenser as the sniper tossed jarate at him. The glass shards were shoved up his ass and his dickhole – ha ha – his u /*stutter* rethra – oh ho ho ho ho. He began to seep blood and semen from his wang and even at the risk of infection the engineer continued to beg for more. The sniper then cut the rope with his jarate. I mean kukri. And began to paddle the engineer’s bare ass. He shad blood all over the sniper’s hand, the sniper lapped it all up and moaned furiously. The glass and feces destroying his mouth? He didn’t care. He was with his own true love and that was all that mattered to him. In under two hours both were coated in thick thick – oh – thick layers of each other’s bodily waste and passed out. The spy then came across the sleeping couple and took his butterfly knife and quickly and… Oh my god. That’s offensive. Okay, restart. /*loud cough* Sorry. /*sniffle* Hmm. Damn this is awful. The spy then came across the slee – sleeping couple and then took his butterfly knife and quickly unzipped the trousers of the two. He then slowly sliced off the genitalia of both of them. He put them inside small plastic bags and then inserted microchips into their heads. The spy lit a cigarette to toast his victory. Suddenly the engineer awoke; the spy darted off. The engineer and sniper awoke noticing the immense torrent of blood from their already mangled and glass-infested crotch areas. Their cocks were missing! The engineer woke up and tried to wake the sniper. /*sniff* He pointed out the missing penises and then they both began to hunt as they left a long bloody trail of glass and shit in their path. The heavy weapons guy was waiting for medic to arrive. He was eating his sandvich thinking happily of all the tiny cowards he would destroy. Heavy made it to the control point and saw *stutter* saw oh – saw but a lone scout. Then heavy grabbed the scout, held him down, and began to rape him. The scout did not seem very afraid. He almost enjoyed it. The heavy came all over the scout and he *stutter* as he ejaculated he shot his minigun. It killed a nearby demoman. Wow that’s good aim. Which on closer inspection was the dongless and shit-covered engineer. Oh ho ho, that’s good. The heavy began to eat his sandvich. He noticed it tasted different, ever since he asked the medic to make them. The sandvich had a creamy and smooth texture. It was also very salty. Every pice (sic) slithered down his throat. The sniper noticing that his lover was evicirated approached his team’s heavy. He explained his troubles and realizing what he had done the heavy was sorry. He offered to help the sniper but only for a blowjob. The sniper obliged and put his shit and cut glass covered lips – uuuggghhh – over the heavy’s penis. He sucked long and hard – ha ha ha ha, just like my dick – with many glass shards embedding themselves in his penis. But then the heavy did not mind. He liked it, in fact. After he came all over the engineer, the scout began /*tch* creeping and trying to get another taste of his semen. The scout began to swish his tongue back and forth all over the heavy’s scortum (sic). The heavy was taking it up the ass as the sniper was shitting all over the scout’s chest. It was covered in blood and in a matter of second the scout came really fast. Oh snap! The scout had deployed a lobster inside the heavy’s anus. The lobster pinched at the heavy’s buttocks and clawed at his ballsack and the scrotum fell to the ground and unraveled. The scout grabbed the purple and severed love balls and began to rub them all over his face. The sniper took out his huntsman arrows and shoved them up the scout’s ass as he played with the heavy’s testicles. Wow, I can’t believe this is almost done. I’m gonna miss this. The sharp pain of the anal arrows had mad (sic) them all cum furiously as they comma sprayed each other with with their jui- jueeces (sic) and got kicked from the server for cybering. The end.