So I busted a nut the other day and my sperm cell started talking to me and it said you know I’m just a sperm cell that could have became a child but now I am very upset that my Creator decided to have me end up all crusty on a pair of underwear then my sperm cell started going along the lines of saying do you know that I could have been something I could have solved world hunger and be sexier than John legend but alas I ended up all stinky and sticky on a pair of tighty whities under a bed with splooge marks on it I hope you know that all the other sperm cells would have been serial killers so I guess you really did dodge a bullet right there but I would have been something I could have been something you will never know how exciting it is to be tickled from a love pickle but then the pain that just felt when you end up a stain on the fabric of someone’s boxers instead…This is why I stopped masturbating in order to save the lives of unborn babies…