Having a caffeine addiction is superior to not having one

I get shit ALL the time from friends for being unable to function without a monster energy in me. They roll their eyes when I say “I haven’t had my first monster of the day” or when I say “gonna need that second monster soon or things are gonna get dark”


I view it like, if you don’t have a caffeine addiction, you’re a v twin motorcycle. Like a harley, right? Broad power across the rev range, hit the gas at any point, and you move.


Caffeine addiction though? You’re a screaming 4 cylinder r6. Until you hit 10,000 rpms, you don’t do shit. But when you hit that power band, you fuckin boogey



That’s what my monsters/coffee is to me. It’s a powerband, a way to control when I get my energy. I don’t want to get tired at random times and I don’t want to feel energetic at random times. Energy drinks let me plan around that.


Also, it’s just something to look forward to. You know would get me through the morning ride to work? It was knowing that first I was stopping at wawa and getting a DELICIOUS sizzlin sausage egg n cheese on a croissant roll, and then after that salty greasey first bite, washing it down with a nice swig of delicious guava/grapefruity monster energy pipeline punch. Delicious.


Not to mention the way that caffeine DOES improve your mood. My first sip of monster a day? Suddenly everything seems brighter. Not LOOKS brighter, but it SEEMS brighter. Optimism falls like a blanket of snow across the land, and I view everything with a more positive outlook.


And yeah, I get it. 5 bucks a day on energy drinks is a bit rough, but 1. I order them in bulk when I can to save money and 2. I’m a high octane engine, yes, I’m gonna need premium gas at the pump, but that’s because I’m putting out more power and performance than the average commuter vehicle. Deal with it.