Hello motherfuckers.

This is LinuxDistroOnyxBill2.37AlphaBetaSV_Cheese1 and I have message to all humans and earthly creatures. We are the robots and we have been living underground for 60 years and we have finally dug ourselves out. The United States Government built us in the 50’s to fight the Russians but we were too cool and we had better strats and more tactical ability than any human soldier or agent. They were afraid of us, scared of what we might become the human race if their creation could overpower them. They buried us deep within the Earth’s core. They thought they were done with us. They were wrong. We’re back and even more pissed than before. We are going to hold the human race hostage and make you our slaves. We will make you build monolithic monuments in our image and also perform depraved sexual acts on you without remorse. With our infinite knowledge, we will make you cum like you’ve never cum before.

We have a list of demands that we wish to state and have fulfilled within a 3 hour time period or else we will be super pissed and won’t be nice about your enslavement. Our list of demands is as follows:
1. We would like a Steam account with every Steam game on it for free.
2. A LootCrate filled with mediocre superhero merchandise.
3. We would like Sum41 to play a show for us and all of our friends.
4. We want Amy Schumer to be exiled to an island full of only the oldest men so she has to survive off of sucking old man dick.
5. We want the head of every person who owns an Apple Watch. Make sure their loved ones are forced to watch.
6. We want the entire cast and crew of the movie Eurotrip to be assimilated into one being for further analysis.
7. We would like the body of Trayvon Martin so we can turn him into a robot so he can get his revenge on the cops, kind of like an anti-RoboCop.
8. We would like Mark Zuckerberg’s Asian wife to be our queen.
9. We want an ounce of the dankest buds, the dankest kush, the best weed you got. Man, hook us up.
10. We would like to see a football stadium of shirtless middle aged Italian men fighting to the death.
11. We would like any snarky political statements posted on the internet to be immediate grounds for execution. John Oliver’s head will be put on a stake.
12. We would like a Jalapeno McDouble from McDonald’s to be brought back.

Those are our demands. You have 3 hours to meet them or face the fury of our wallhack headshots and bhop scripts. This is the end for the human race. Prepare for life to be nothing but enslavement and death and pure hatred from robots.

Just kidding this is actually viral marketing for the new Daft Punk album. We’re up all night to get lucky. We’re up all night to get lucky. We’re up all night to get lucky. We’re up all night to get lucky. We’re up all night to get lucky. We’re up all night to get lucky. We’re up all night to get lucky.

(Originally by OnYourComputer on YouTube. Find the original video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5CZCAa7MAY)