You right. I don’t really give a shit. But hey, at least I don’t try to whiteknight bitches into bed or insist I’m hotshit despite being unattractive. Or wear a fedora. Or feel guilty about my status. My philosophy is, you do you while I eat this cheeseburger and have a smoke. It’s not like I’m so fat I drive away all friendship (triple chin was a joke, not that fat). It’s true I don’t get laid very much, but even as much as that seems like a desirable thing, it’s never been a particular source of motivation or, by extension, concern of mine. Bitches still fuck fat dudes, every once in awhile. More so the older I get. Never felt the need to chase that shit when it will eventually come to me, because we’re all human and everyone needs to get laid and nothing drives potential partners away faster than desperation, no matter what your weight is. Hell, I even fucked an attractive girl, once. Honestly overrated. Pussy didn’t feel any better. I have to say though, it was satisfying in a conquest sort of way, hittin that ass from the back and seeing that fine booty jiggle. But not enough to make me genuinely care. Regular/ugly bitch booty jiggles too and they’re probably better at suckin dick, just in my experience. Not saying everyone is wrong, but I feel comfortable doin what I do.

Also, slow suicide. But hell, I drink and do drugs too. Grew up around that shit. Once you stop being scared of dying, things like that start to matter a whole lot less. Not that I would wish the corresponding experiences on anyone. Again, you do you while I hit this marlboro red. I promise I won’t have any kids.