# My toilet is (possibly) haunted

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I was going to the bathroom like any other day, but on this faithful day, my toilet spoke to me. It said that I have sinned and I shall pay the ultimate price by getting flushed down and enter the realm of misfortune. So I asked the toilet what was my sin? It explained that by eating bread, I’m killing innocent bread and therefore I have sinned. I told the toilet that I never cut the crust off but it didn’t matter to the toilet, it tried flushing me down so I ran out of the bathroom. My toilet has disconnected itself from the floor and is now actively trying to find me and flush me away to the realm of misfortune. Gonna call a plumber on Wednesday. What should I do in the meantime?

tl;dr my toilet is trying to flush me away to the shadow realm and I haven’t taken a dump in 2 days