Today I (M22) was helping my girlfriend (F21) dye her hair at my house before we went to bed. After seeing how happy she was with her hair, I decided I’d love to join in on the fun as well. Between the low amount of leftover dye, my lack of motivation to dye my hair, and my ability to predict consequences at the level of a 13 year old chihuahua, I decided to redo the basement carpet.

My girlfriend was immediately on board, and I dropped my pants faster than my inhibitions. She slathered the dark purple dye around, making sure to coat every curly, porous hair. By the time she was done, it looked like I fucked Grimace after drinking his birthday shake.

I let the dye sit for the recommended 20 minutes, during which the dye permeated into every crease below my waist, before hopping in the shower to get rid of the excess dye. I expected a nice purple waterfall, but instead the water continued to run clear. I grabbed my handy dandy washcloth and lathered with soap before scrubbing, but saw no difference.

I started to panic as I realized my fuck up, and started sanding down my nether region with a speed and intensity never before seen. As my hand blurred past the purple painted pubes over and over, I slowly resigned myself to my fate.

The worst part of all is that the dye didn’t do much to the actual hair, and instead just colored all of the skin around it. Hopefully in a few days I’ll go back to the normal coloration, but time will tell.

TL;DR: My peanut brain decided to dye my pubes purple and now it looks like I paid Barney for the best night of my life. This is the most embarrassing Bush since our 43rd president 😔