never drink soy milk. the only time i ever drank soy milk, my dick just fell straight off. as i screamed, i realised that my testes were hanging out of my body, dangling in mid air. of course, if i had been wearing clothes, it wouldn’t have been too much of a problem, but i take my clothes off when drinking milk so I can masturbate (but that’s a story for another time). The point is, i ran around, bloody testes swinging in the air, as I ran to the phone and called emergency services. when i called and told them what had happened, they laughed and called me a soyboy. as I sobbed incoherently, i looked down and realised that my breasts were beginning to grow several sizes larger. i became ecstatic, and started trying to motorboat myself when i got another phone call. my boss told me that his instinct told him to cut down my paycheck. i mean, that’s ok, because my bazonkadongas are huge, so that’s an overall gain. y’know, do drink soy milk. don’t be ashamed to accept your boobies. and masturbate in the shower.