Look at that genuine smile. That kid’s got some yogurt and he’s fucking happy about it. Don’t like it? Too Goddamn bad. You can tell he isn’t riddled with existential angst and worries that it’s almost April and he still hasn’t filed last year’s taxes. If he paid taxes he’d probably have this year’s done already. Probably know how to do them himself too.

Look at those teeth, sparkly white and those are just his starter teeth. Kid’s got better dental hygiene than I do.

His hair? Slightly dishevelled but a very modern and fashionable cut. Does he care if his hair is a little out of place? Hell no, he’s got shit to do, yogurt to buy. My hair is frizzy shit compared to this little dude.

That outfit? Utilizing earth tones in such a way that matches but isn’t obnoxious since the polo is using brown as a highlight colour to accentuate his pants without being just a solid colour. Business casual too, he could go into the office or out for a quiet evening with friends. That material looks comfy as fuck too. Me? I wear all black. and the shades don’t even match. At his age I was wearing a dinosaur costume everywhere.

What is that, a metal bowl? That little fuck is environmentally conscious. Probably walked to get the yogurt too. Not to mention the food choice, probiotic, healthy, good for your intestinal flora. Me? I drive 3 blocks away to buy overpriced and over-packaged garbage. His carbon footprint is probably the size of his actual footprint. He’s probably supporting a local business owner too and not a some heartless massive chain.

The thumbnail on his yogurt hand has some dirt under it, so you know this kid lives life and isn’t afraid of some hard work. His empty hand? Poised in such a way that says “yeah, you can take my picture, but I’ve got shit to do”. Me? I’m sitting in bed on Reddit. Writing this.

This kid has just obliterated any semblance of self esteem that I have and made me seriously reconsider all of the choices I’ve made in my life. The worst part? He has no idea. No clue that he’s completely owned me. Annihilated every aspect of my being. If I met him one day, 10, 20 years from now, he’d probably have no idea either. Just stroll into the room and not even realize that he’s ruined everyone’s day around him.

Fuck, he’d probably feel bad if he did know. Probably can feel empathy and compassion. Little shit probably shared his fucking yogurt with someone too, cause that’s just the kind of guy he is. I have both hatred and admiration for him in equal parts because, honestly? He’s everything that I’m not. Better than me in every way.