I’m gonna put this here as it kinda fits the brief. If anyone asks, I’m answering for a friend. A friend who I, a girl, farted on.

I’ll set the scene. We were at a sleepover at his, in his room. His name is Theo, and we’re both mental, which should hopefully make this slightly forgivable. We’d had far too much sugar and, as a result, we were getting kinda hyper.

I challenged him to wrestle me. He always says I’m weak and now, in my sane state, I can admit that I probably am. However, when you’re high on sweets and snacks late at night, you forget these things. Obviously, he laughed at my challenge, and this made me more determined. I shouted some insult which I probably shouldn’t repeat here and, laughing, he approached.

I hadn’t planned this far. I just wanted to floor him, and gloat my victory, but how to do that was something which had eluded me when I waged war with him. It was then that my eye caught the cable on the floor. Theo owns a guitar, and he doesn’t clean up much. The cable was curled like a snake, and he was about to stand in a loop of it.

I timed it perfectly. I yanked the cable and leapt at him. He fell, and I sat on his chest. I began whooping with joy — I’d won!! He was defeated!!! I told him I’d get off if he tapped, and he refused. I’m not heavy, but he couldn’t get up from beneath me, no matter how hard he tried. I knew that. He knew that. Yet still, he wouldn’t tap??

I decided to give him one last chance. I’d seen some wrestling before, and thought it would be hilarious to replicate the “stinkface” move used sometimes. I gave him his final chance, and was met by another refusal to surrender to me. So I turned around, pulled up my miniskirt, planted my ass on his face. Then I started to wiggle it.

I probably should mention that, due to a weird game of Truth or Dare before this, I had no panties on beneath this skirt. Which makes everything worse, especially what happend next.

I suddenly felt a gurgling in my stomach. The mixture of sugar and movement had created an unholy mixture in my tummy, and the mixture was now begging to be released in fart form, directly into the face of my best friend. And, cmon, who would resist the urge?

I farted on him for around 10 minutes, occasionally pretending I’d let him go if he sniffed one directly from my butthole or if he kissed my pretty little asscheek. I didn’t let him out, though, and I got sadistic pleasure from his sigh of relief after smooching my bum, thinking he’d be free, and then his groan of horror as he saw the pert posterior come crashing down back onto him. In my excitement I think I accidentally peed on him a bit too, for good measure, but hey, at least I didn’t shit?!

I regret nothing. He regrets everything. And for that, I am proud.