Nick Crompton, Savior of the City of England. It was said in times of old that there would come a time when the Antichrist would walk the earth, a time in which a being of goodness and light could stop him. Nick Crompton is that Savior. When Jake Paul came to bring perdition and damnation to the world, Nick knew that the only way to stop mankind’s annihilation was to sabotage the Dark Lord’s plot from within. He infiltrates Paul’s “Team 10” death cult, doing all that he could to forestall the coming of the Apocalypse. In doing so, he split the Dark One’s cringe asunder, absorbing into himself the sin and pain of this cringe to save us all from being consumed in the unholy baptism of “It’s Everyday Bro”. Jesus may have died for our sins, but Nick Crompton willingly allowed his eternal soul to burn in hell to absolve us of our trespasses. Through his sacrifice, all of England has been unified to become the “City of Heaven”. Peace to Nick Crompton, death to Jake “the Antichrist” Paul. Amen.

Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/6rb6j8/chess_is_banned_under_islam/dl40apw/