After traveling to Japan a couple of times I just couldn’t go back to scraping my ass with dry paper like a filthy animal. I felt like a third-world savage using restrooms in Japan and reflecting on my own caveman-esque civilization back home. I bought a smart-toilet seat / bidet the second I got home. 250 dollars and the thing has a heated seat, press a button and it sprays you clean, oscillating function… You can adjust the water temperature and water pressure. Anywhere from a spittle to glorious paint-stripping power. The whole process is indescribably more comfortable and more hygienic. For the first couple weeks I’d give it one wipe afterwards to make sure there was no residual poo left in the area but it gets the job done EVERY SINGLE TIME. Without fail. The seat also has a drying function so I haven’t used a single piece of toilet paper in months. If you don’t have a couple hundred dollars to splurge on a high-tech life-changing toilet seat you can buy an attachment that is like the kitchen sink sprayer. I learned to use those in Thailand. I call it the ass-blaster. It isn’t powerful enough to completely clean you but it severely reduces the amount of paper you need to use. The mix of water / paper is just so much cleaner. Think about it this way; if someone smeared poo on your arm, you wouldn’t just scrape away at it with a dry piece of paper and call it clean.

EDIT: This is the model I bought if anyone is interested. [Bio Bidet BB-600](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B007HIKQCK/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_AeyDCbZ858CXG). I have friends who bought this same model and are happy with it as well. Toto is the gold-standard if you want to spend a little more. Happy to answer any further question in my quest to proselytize the paper-scrapers of the world and save the Canadian forests.