Fuck you, you stupid bitch, what the fuck is a handjob!? You don’t just waltz into my crib and indirectly tell me that you know how to jerk off my dick better than me, the fuck is wrong with you!? You do realize I can sit on my hand and have the same effect right!?!? Do you understand how long I’ve been jerking off before you, how many hours I put into perfecting my craft, the pain I endured, before and after, and the regret that comes with it!? DO YOU!?!?? The fucking thing I brought you in here to do was suck my fucking dick, and if I could have done it, I totally would, because it’s my fucking dick, and I know how to satisfy it better than anyone else. It’s been a part of me for as long as I can remember, we’ve been through some rough patches, but it’s irreplaceable, and I know what’s best for it. In conclusion, God gave you a mouth for four reasons : breathing, eating, talking, and SUCKING MY DICK!