Basically I was extremely stoned about last week on marijuana. while I was high, I was about to break my current streak, but then my penis literally fucking spoke to me in an angry voice telling me to fuck off. I cannot be more serious, his voice also hurt my head. I talked with him about why masturbation makes him mad, and he said that he just doesn’t like being used. Me and him made a really good bond throughout the entire night and became somewhat friendly. Earlier today I was about to relapse and I just think about the talk with my penis, now every time I think of relapsing I feel like I’m about to violate my friend… Honestly this has probably been the best thing that’s happen to me, I can’t dissapoint the guy.

Btw: I’m typing this stoned af as well, this actually happened. I’m not able to talk to my penis anymore though.