The other day, I was just relaxing on my bed naked as I often do. The feeling of soft fabric against my skin is just so incredible especially when coupled with the feeling of a hamster on my stomach. This is a perfectly reasonable thing to do and should not be questioned by anybody. All of a sudden, my hamster decided to take a vacation inside my vagina. You might find this hard to believe — wondering how a hamster could get into any orifice at all without the person noticing or having time to react — but I must say that my hamster is very crafty indeed.

It has been two days now. I have tried to use a carrot to tempt it out but, as they say in Vegas, “no dice”. The experience has not been uncomfortable. In fact, I have found it enjoyable as the hamster seems to spend it’s time scratching my g-spot which it quickly found (unlike my ex-boyfriend, am I right?). As everybody knows, there is nothing more pleasurable than having claws that are capable of shredding cardboard raking across one of your erogenous zones. This is a very reasonable thing.

Despite the fact that an animal has taken up residence in a rather important part of my body, my only concern is that I think he might drown, if you get what I mean.

Needless to say, I quite look forward to getting a few more hamsters, just as soon as I figure a way of getting them back out again reliabl