In the early 2006 a leprechaun was spotted in Mobile, Alabama.The mainstream media tried to laugh it off as some kind of jokeand spies successfully managed to turn it into an internet meme.They were scared. Scared that the truth would get out. And despite their best efforts the truth did get out and it got out to the most reliable source. Me. What historical secret do I have to tell you? That the leprechaun sighting was no joke, it was, in fact, the greatest slip of confidential information in the history of the world we think we live in. What was this slip? That Russia masterminded the 9/11 attacks.


But how does the leprechaun sighting in Mobile, Alabama relate to the greatest slip of confidential information in the history of the world we think we live in? Its simple. The leprechaun in that sighting was working for the KGB, the USSR’s secret service. But didn’t the USSR disband? No. I will tell you the truth about what really happened.


You see, in 1908 an asteroid struck the earth near Tunguska, a small Russian town in the middle of Siberia. The Russians tried to cover up what really happened here but it’s common knowledge that this asteroid brought extra -terrestrials to earth. Reptilian extraterrestrials. Through osmosis and diffusion the Reptilians exited the meteor and entered Tunguska and bred with the locals to form a new species. Reptilian people. Due to reptilian people’s heightened breeding speed they soon spawned an army strong enough to start a revolution. In 1917 the reptilian people left Siberia with a sizeable army, entered Moscow and, lead by Vladimir Lenin (an anagram of his real reptilian name – Neri Mla Dliniv) overthrew the Russian monarchy and set up a communist government, the favourite government of reptilian people.


But Neri was still unhappy. It saw the USA and hated it for one reason. Coca-cola. Coca-cola was the name of the great reptilian who lead them to victory over the vicious underwater space snail armies of Planet Natwug so to hear the USA slandering their greatest leader was an outrage so they plotted revenge. Neri realised that Coca-cola was something that was commonly bought in the world economy and another name for this was world trade. Neri knew that because the USA was the center of the world’s trade that the USA would have to, in future build a world trade center where Coca-Cola would be sold. Neri pondered how to destroy these houses of filth then came up with an idea. Crashing planes into them! But he also knew that this idea was many decades away from happening so he created an acronym for the communist reptilian government to help them remember. This abbreviation as we all know is the USSR which stands for – **U** dont**S**uspect that plane**S** will crash into the wo**R**ld trade center. He also realized that the US government would try and stop this so he created a secret service to help bring the US government and Coca-cola down. He called this the KGB which stands for **K**ill US**G**overnment **B**uildings.


The USSR plotted for many years. But by the 1940’s they had grown extremely powerful and so were starting to raise the US government and Coca-cola’s suspicions. The USSR then decided to resolve this by starting the cold war as a false front to make them believe that the USSR was too preoccupied with impending nuclear war to plan to commit reptilian terrorism. As the time to the attacks drew nearer the reptilian leaders began to decide who they would frame for the attacks. They decided that Islamic terrorists would be perfect and so invaded Afghanistan and pretended to fight them while negotiating a deal with potential terrorists there, namely Osama Bin Laden who despised Coca-Cola as much as the reptilians did and agreed to claim responsibility for the attacks. After this was sorted the reptilians became worried that the USA was cracking their acronyms so they pretended to disbanded the USSR and KGB and laid low for a couple of years to throw the USA of the scent. After that it was almost too easy with reptilians posing as Islamic terrorists hijacking planes and flying 2 into the World Trade Center buildings, 1 into the Pentagon and 1 into a field because aside from disrespecting the great reptilian Coca-cola, reptilians hate fields.


So there it is all evidence laid out. Well except for one thing. How could this all be solved by the appearance of the leprechaun in mobile, Alabama though? Well, it’s common knowledge that the KGB are leprechauns. Why ? Leprechauns are Irish. So these leprechauns were fed up with the cruel British so joined the IRA to fight them. After some time they realized that they couldn’t do much to stop the UK because the UK’s main ally was the USA who would help Britain so the leprechauns decided to ally themselves with the only nation that could fight the USA, the USSR. The leprechauns then took over the KGB unit. Back to present, the KGB, angry that 9/11 did not destroy Coca-cola decided to blow up the Coca-cola headquarters in Atlanta, Georgia. The plan failed and one of the leprechaun bombers fled to the Caribbean passing through the interstate route 85 into Montgomery, Alabama before changing to the 65 route and travelling to Mobile, Alabama (which is on the gulf of mexico) where it spent a night in a tree and was spotted by locals, compromising his mission and putting the truth out there for people who can see it.


So spread the truth, the USSR never disbanded, reptilians run Russia and they caused 9/11. Let’s show a defiant stand against the reptilians and purchase Coca-cola today!


*This presentation is proudly brought to you by the Coca-cola corporation.*