Hey, dude, PhD in Theology here, let me get some facts straight with you, dude.

Jesus did have the surfer dude attitude, though. He was rad, used to surf in the Mediterranean (don’t point out the Mediterranean doesn’t usually have surf-worthy waves. Back then they still had the Moses guy that was splitting seas on command. He was also a surfer) and was generally a “dude” kind of dude. The other people of Judea hated him. Not because he was a rad surfer, they were too, but Jesus had this power where if he fell off the board, he’d just walk on water all the way to land, while the others got wet and looked like fools whenever they fell. That’s why the others were jealous. Especially Romans, cause they had heavy armour and their scutums weren’t too good as surf boards, so they fell off of them a lot. Overall, they weren’t good surfers, which is why their Empire fell some time later.

Polynesians hated him too, because they are the ones who invented surfing and the claim of Jesus doing it almost 1800 years before Polynesian contact with Europeans was a blatant anachronism.

But Jesus didn’t care, he loved them anyways. He always said “Love thy dude, dude”. Except of course, he said it in ancient Hebrew, which got translated wrong to Latin. Not because Hebrew became lost to Romans, but because Jesus always used this very Kahuna 70’s ancient Hebrew surfing slang. God did too (he’s also a surfer, but his surfing is too divine to comprehend), which is why a lot of stuff in the bible went a bit wrong over the years.