THIS CHRISTMAS
(Uptown Funk)
SKIP THE FAMILY…
(scene of toads acting like minions)
Peach [Anya Taylor-Joy]: This ain’t it chief…
AND HANG WITH THE BROS
Mario ([Chris Pratt] jumping down a pipe): This is epic!

(Montage of scenes cutting in time with the music)
Goomba [Will Smith]: Holy shiitake!
Luigi ([Charlie Day] dodging fireballs): He’s spitting fire!
(Music ramps up)
Yoshi ([Dwayne Johnson] nae naeing while jumping): Oh! Watch me, watch me!
(Reverse Cymbal)

Toad [Keegan-Michael Key]: Why are you always capture Peach? Are you a simp?
Bowser [Jack Black]: I’m not a simp!
Peach (bored looking at Samsung-brand phone): Yes you are.
Bowser Jr. [Miles Bakshi]: Yeah, it’s kinda cringe.

(Cut to an entirely unrelated scene)
Mario: Mama Mia…
Luigi: Awkwaaaaarrrrd…
SUPER MARIO BROS: THE MOVIE
(Toadette doing the Renegade in the corner)
RATED PG DECEMBER 22