Hangin’ About in a Train Station Toilet, Naming People’s Penises

Hello commuter on your way to work

I’m gonna call yours Captain Birdseye

Because it looks like its wearing a polar neck and winking at me

You’re welcome, I just named your penis

Hello train driver who just nipped in for a piss

I’m gonna call yours Misses Fernsby, my old geography teacher

Because you’re small and wrinkly and have a birthmark down the side of your shaft

You’re welcome, I just named your penis

Hello police officer who’s just been sent to the toilets because they’ve had reports of someone naming people’s penises

You can’t arrest me for naming stranger’s penises

Oh, you can?! I didn’t know that

Oh great, now I’m electronically tagged again